Married At First Sight Australia - Season 13 Part 5 (w/ Ruby Teys)

Ding Dong! Ruby Teys (aka Cherry Vinyl) joins Sam on the cringe couch to finish off this fingerbanging good season of MAFS. Gia and Bec are on the wines, there's storm outs, see-through lifts, three million dollar Adelaide houses and MORE in this insane episode of the pod. Also, wtf is Flex? Montoya could never.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:07

This podcast was produced on the land of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin Nation. Welcome to Australia! Someone who is such a connoisseur of reality television. The content is hideous.

SPEAKER_02 0:24

So sorry about this. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_00 0:27

Rubby Tiss.

SPEAKER_02 0:28

Thank you so much for having me back, Sam.

SPEAKER_00 0:31

Live and breathe.

SPEAKER_02 0:33

And I'm drinking this gorgeous, crisp, dry rose.

SPEAKER_00 0:36

What are the notes? What notes are we getting?

SPEAKER_02 0:38

Give me one more hotum. Granny Smith Apple? Yes, yes. Thank you. Granny Smith Apple.

SPEAKER_00 0:48

Foreskin.

SPEAKER_02 0:50

Foreskin. Beautiful smoky ghost eucalyptus bark. And a bit of blue cheese from Tasmania.

SPEAKER_00 0:57

That was the foreskin I was getting.

SPEAKER_02 0:58

Some people drive to the shops, we fly.

SPEAKER_00 1:02

We fly.

SPEAKER_02 1:04

Well it's really hard when you live on the 21th floor. It's good to be back here in Melbourne.

SPEAKER_00 1:10

Yes, so you're here for one night only.

SPEAKER_02 1:13

One night only, come on, come on. And it's this Saturday? And do you know what? I thought, why don't you treat yourself, Ruby, and have an afternoon show so you don't ruin your whole day.

SPEAKER_00 1:24

An afternoon show is deluxe. Because you get to you can you can go out after. You're not like finishing at like fucking two and like, what's going on? Everyone's already sideways at the top.

SPEAKER_02 1:35

Yeah, everyone's already yelling at each other at the top of that artist bar. The amount of crooked, angry comedians who are throwing drinks and swinging each other around by those spraided pubes.

SPEAKER_00 1:47

I go it's truly terrible.

SPEAKER_02 1:50

You're either gonna get into a fight or get the Lurgy, and I'm not gonna get either because I've got a five o'clock show at the Greek 168 Rose Lon Stell Street.

SPEAKER_00 1:59

I do like the Greek.

SPEAKER_02 2:01

I love the Greek. Shout out to the Greek, I do love ya, and the whole of Greece and the Greeks.

SPEAKER_00 2:08

Um before we get into Maths, which firstly, what what a d what a treat.

SPEAKER_02 2:16

Because Sam asked me if I had watched Maths ever, and I said no.

SPEAKER_00 2:19

And he went, no, I must I've got celebrity, get me out of here. You have standards.

SPEAKER_02 2:25

I was like, Hey, like, what are they trying to do on this show? Like, it makes so much money, and I'm like, what is wrong with this?

SPEAKER_00 2:33

It's so popular and it makes me worried for the nation.

SPEAKER_02 2:36

In Sydney, however, yeah, in Sydney, at some of like the at Channel 9 or at like Nova or something, there is a whole floor dedicated to maths. Like ARN, there's a whole floor dedicated to Kardashians. That's how much money is. The maths floor, yeah. But you know what they say? The year of the horse, unexpected things happening. I'm still waiting to get bucked off of Shetland. And I'm still waiting for fire, I'm still waiting for the kindle to be lit. But listen, my dad became unwell, moved in with me. Now he's a pompous asshole. And he will he's like, you know, not even into the arts. He's like football and football, and that's it.

SPEAKER_00 3:19

Would that be your sob story if you were on a reality show? Daddy never supported me. No, Daddy never supported me. Well, no, I'm supporting him.

SPEAKER_02 3:27

I feel sorry for him because the amount of shows he's had to sit through where the dogs licked in my asshole and given me ringworm right around the scene, the first one in Australia. He's had to bob along. But no, he said, our rupee, and he came to me with a tail between his legs, and I thought he was gonna say something like, He's spent all this money, he will no longer have a house deposit for me. Yeah. Things like that. Turns out, no, he won't have a house deposit for me, but he's also been watching maths. And I said, and he's like the time of name. Yeah. Oh, absolutely, like, and I tell you what, we hadn't spoken maybe for almost a year, and it has brought our family back together. And we're talking Sydney Snobbs.

SPEAKER_00 4:06

Bloody beautiful, bloody beautiful channel nine, changing lives, bringing families together.

SPEAKER_02 4:11

And I swatched through the experiment.

SPEAKER_00 4:12

Yes, the power of the experiment.

SPEAKER_02 4:14

Yes, and I actually have been like, we actually just all made an effort to sit and watch maths together, which I thought wouldn't happen in a thousand years. You know the world's going to the basket.

SPEAKER_00 4:27

You know, we're in a terrible place.

SPEAKER_02 4:30

And it's really fun. It would be like my grandma would always have really deep insights about bold and the beautiful. And now I'm watching my dad going, oh, bloody, bloody beck. God judgment. Get a drink in it. Yeah. Yeah, get a drink in it.

SPEAKER_00 4:43

Beck is in a permanent state of intoxication. And that's why she's my girl.

SPEAKER_02 4:48

Yeah, exactly. Well, me and my sister are like, God, if we're gonna go out with someone, we're going out with Beck. 100% fun.

SPEAKER_00 4:54

And I want to go out with Beck in Adelaide. Yeah, oh Because that's her, that is her stomping ground. You know that she can throw back some sharddies in a hotel bar in Rundle Mall.

SPEAKER_02 5:06

Yep, yep, yep, yep. I want to go back to the three million dollar house for afters and like take some molly. Take some molly and just talk shit all night.

SPEAKER_00 5:16

Sideways and have her go, mic drop.

SPEAKER_02 5:18

Yeah, mic drop. One one half of the mouth of this way. I want to start in Glenn now. Look at that beautiful flat that her dad has. I want to go out in the city and then I want to go to afters at the three million dollar place.

SPEAKER_00 5:30

Do you know what is the one thing that is worse than maths? What? Flex.

SPEAKER_02 5:36

Oh I saw those ads today on nine now.

SPEAKER_00 5:40

So I'm confused. Are they ads or is that the show? Or are they micro influences? I think it's like a micro show.

SPEAKER_02 5:47

Yeah, and they weren't filming it themselves. They actually had a team. What's this?

SPEAKER_00 5:52

Flex is makes me feel not only old, but like I'm mentally unwell.

SPEAKER_02 5:57

No, I felt mentally unwell. I felt like it was like going back to watch, like there used to be this um reality TV show in 2007 called The Shire.

SPEAKER_00 6:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 6:08

And I was like, is this the like another episode of the Shire?

SPEAKER_00 6:13

Like a um what was the Bon Die one? Made in Bontai. Made in Bondai. That was all equally as fucked up. Yeah. But Flex, stop trying to make it happen. So what is it? Like a big brother. I don't know. But it's a big thing. I think we've been watching it covertly this whole time. I feel like it's the first stage of like late-stage capitalism mind control. Exactly what's it?

SPEAKER_01 6:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 6:33

So like we're watching Flex, but we don't know that we're watching Flex, and then one day, like, Trump's gonna be like Um sending the troops, and it's where the troops.

SPEAKER_02 6:43

I kind of thought it was like North Korea had worked it out, and they let the the two queers in North Korea you put their brains together and be like, we can get the Westerners by like making them suck their own assholes.

SPEAKER_00 6:56

Just get Eastern Sydney influencers to so so-called flex and then game on miles.

SPEAKER_02 7:03

Because there was this guy who looked like he'd been passing Clymedia throughout the whole of Tamarama doing a bit in front of Red Leaf Beach, and I thought I could smell the dead koala from here.

SPEAKER_00 7:17

What is he doing? Someone is if it's the one I'm thinking, someone like messaged me being like, you look like that guy, and I was like, firstly, thanks. Thanks. And secondly, no.

SPEAKER_02 7:27

But the way he was taking it so seriously and was so inside his own ass, I thought, someone's gonna get pink eye.

SPEAKER_00 7:34

Pink eye.

SPEAKER_02 7:35

And it's gonna be us.

SPEAKER_00 7:36

It's gonna be us. Um, also before we get into maths, we need to talk about this summer house drama. Are you familiar? Are you do you fuck with Bravo's extended universe?

SPEAKER_02 7:46

I actually was gonna start that on Monday.

SPEAKER_00 7:48

Oh, well damn it. I won't spoil anything then.

SPEAKER_02 7:52

Oh, but what do you think? Well on the podcast. What do you think? What do you think?

SPEAKER_00 8:00

I think that honestly, I've only recently gotten into Summer House, like in the last few years. It is a very painful experience. Yeah. Because it's like it's like all of the chaos of like your Jersey Shaw. Did you watch Aussie Shaw?

SPEAKER_02 8:16

Yeah, absolutely did I ever. That's where I learnt how to do the toe bum dinger.

SPEAKER_00 8:22

Cardi art, that's the picture I want to have a drink with. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 8:26

Well, maybe we could get her on the pub. But these black.

SPEAKER_00 8:29

It's like that, but without any of the fun summer house. Because they're very serious, New York, rich kids. And they're not even kidding, they're like too old to be doing it, but they're still doing it. And I don't know, now they're giving them another show, but they're trying to turn it into like a scandal situation. Yeah. And I'm a little bit like, it's not that interesting.

SPEAKER_02 8:49

Yeah, and it's just a little bit grating because it's like, oh, you guys have too much money to be this pressed. Exactly. Which I might have just blown the whole thing. They're all DJs TV.

SPEAKER_00 8:58

Because it's the whole thing, everyone's a DJ now, all of the Bravo celebrities. And look, when DJ Meredith Marks is doing it, I say fab. But when it's like Karl Cook, like Carl Cook, fuck.

SPEAKER_02 9:11

Like fuck off. Please fuck off. Get the fuck out of here. They need to do like a sore challenge or a human centipede. Yes, they do. That'll that'll teach them to stop whining. Exactly. I'll keep whining. Look at this RSL paw. Fabulous.

SPEAKER_00 9:26

I thought, do I get up mid-pod to refill? And I said no.

SPEAKER_02 9:30

No, I'm a professional media.

SPEAKER_00 9:32

We're gonna just guzzle.

SPEAKER_02 9:33

Guzzle Guligala.

SPEAKER_00 9:35

Let's fucking get into it. So when I last reported back on the MAFS universe, otherwise known as heterosexual hell, um we had just we were just about to go on the chemist warehouse and KFC family family road trip. Oh yes. Which brought us incredible Adelaide scenes, like doing tourism essays job for them. Like true. Truly.

SPEAKER_02 10:04

Like just the sun was out and it was shining over that beach.

SPEAKER_00 10:07

Between Beck and Alyssa, who is the just like look at her, you look at her and you're like, fuck, she's beautiful. Yeah. And then she opens that gob and you're like, make it stop.

SPEAKER_01 10:19

Stop, please. She hates it. Babe. Babe.

SPEAKER_02 10:23

I want you to speak up. Okay, and then I was like, well, no one's getting a word in. I feel like I've I feel like her voice is ringing in my ears. It's been ringing in my ears for three months. And even dad said, Yeah, that Alyssa, I can't like, I cannot, that frequency. Too high.

SPEAKER_00 10:42

Tyra Banks would be like, she's a she's a cover girl, but we're not putting her in in any of the commercials. No speaking. She won't be doing a red carpet. Yeah, no. Just catwalk. Catwalk. Editorial.

SPEAKER_02 10:54

Covers fantastic. So speaking roles, fabulous. No. No.

SPEAKER_00 11:00

So we had the that and we that also gave us the end of our fags, Chris and Sam. On the farm. This fucking scene on the farm. Did you not?

SPEAKER_02 11:12

I died. I was like, get your book out, go on, son. Also, have you deep dived on like Chris? I have. And I've gotten inboxes about Chris from Oxford Street.

SPEAKER_00 11:22

The fuck? Up.

SPEAKER_02 11:24

Yeah, he has had a tumultuous past.

SPEAKER_00 11:27

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_02 11:28

Right. We can see it. And um, yeah, a few of his exes have messaged me saying it did get a little bit physical and not the Olivia Newton John. Like, I don't, I probably can't say this because someone will sue the shit out of me. And I don't know who these people, my inbox is fucking insane. And they could be totally it could be Russian bots. And also, there's a lot of jealous people in there sludging everyone I've ever met. So I mean, but I heard don't get on Chris's bad side because you may or may not kick off.

SPEAKER_00 12:04

Kick off. Kick the fuck off. And so that I feel like that's where the farm started. It was like, let's get Chris out of the city.

SPEAKER_02 12:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:13

And out of away from temptation.

SPEAKER_02 12:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:15

Put him on the farm. And Sam, I'm sorry to say, like, some people were like, Sam Soleil, make Sam the Bachelor. I'm here to tell you that Sam is a fucking wet blanket. Yeah. And I'm sorry, they they both are as flop as each other.

SPEAKER_02 12:30

Yeah, they're a bit 2D, aren't they? At first I was like, oh, I love Sam. He looks great. He looks like a Prince Charming. Yes. Emotionally regulated. But all I was getting this is now, yeah, yeah, I don't actually. Actually, I wake up and uh he wears now air to be a fan.

SPEAKER_00 12:48

He didn't even tell me that he went to the gym. Look at him. He's a faggot on the farm. Dallan 50cc of fucking silicon in his lips. Of course he's gone to the gym first thing.

SPEAKER_02 13:02

And also, Dallan, gosh, if you stayed with me, I'm out for three hours. I'm gone for days. I need to sit and drink the coffee by myself.

SPEAKER_00 13:12

If you and me were together, he'd be like, where is other Sam? And I'd be like, I don't even know.

SPEAKER_02 13:18

I'm drinking chicken broth in someone's apartment in Brunswick. Exactly. Oh, that chicken broth place. Every morning. They go, here's the girl who spends thousands. Bring her in. Hello, Ruby. We've got your seat ready.

SPEAKER_00 13:35

The usual. So we said goodbye to them. It wasn't too surprising. I'm surprised they stayed around. It was actually infuriating that they made them do like a commitment ceremony. It's like we literally saw them break up on the farm.

SPEAKER_02 13:48

Yeah, that's enough.

SPEAKER_00 13:50

Do we need to see it again?

SPEAKER_02 13:52

The book came out and that was it.

SPEAKER_00 13:53

But it is a show of making you watch the same thing like 600 times.

SPEAKER_02 13:57

And I did find um Chris's um farm registered on Airbnb. Yeah, I just googled it. Shall we? It's on there. Airbnb. It says Southern Southern Southern Highlands, but I think it's I think they've just done that. It's actually not. No. It's a little bit more than that.

SPEAKER_03 14:19

Did you show me that? No.

SPEAKER_02 14:22

Oh, some uh someone showed me it. No, I think it was dad on the iPad actually. Yeah. We googled it. It's on it's on Airbnb. It's quite expensive. Yeah. It's yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:34

Well the eggs was, you know, out there talking about their Airbnbs, and I was like, is that actually when they say the farm, do they just have like properties? Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Like there's no it's like milking cows.

SPEAKER_02 14:46

It's like a it's like a hobby farm. It's like what's a boutique farm where you get Highland cattle, which is just like the the Vogue, Evo Rish, cute little ones.

SPEAKER_00 14:55

I literally know gays doing that here, and it's like okay. Yeah. And they're like doing it so they can be so butch and mask and armed like honey.

SPEAKER_02 15:03

So get in the hot spring, shut the fuck up.

SPEAKER_00 15:05

Exactly, shut up. Exactly. All they really do is hot springs and like decorating.

SPEAKER_02 15:09

Yes. Yeah. Some well, you know, we get to our age and you've got to find something to do, don't you? So you just do another mud mask and a bit more magnesium salt bar.

SPEAKER_00 15:19

Well, love and light to them. Yeah. Um, and then we had after that we had the ultimate final test week. Oh yeah. Otherwise known as Temptation Island style twist with uh these alternate matches, which fuck I love this. Yeah, yeah. The whole show could really just be this.

SPEAKER_02 15:39

Yeah, they should do one temptation challenge a week, and it should they should get that whole night, like a Tuesday. Temptation Tuesday. Here's an idea.

SPEAKER_00 15:47

Down at Willie's Metro in the building, they should just plant like the hottest people you've ever seen. Get the fucking cast reflex. Yes, get the Kill's Metro Gorilla Ambush. And they just go like, oh, like, ah, did my tit just drop away?

SPEAKER_02 16:01

Oh, you're so beautiful. Here's my number.

SPEAKER_00 16:03

And then if they take it interesting.

SPEAKER_02 16:06

Just do it for it's we're not above it. No, no way, we're not above it. No way. And it can be like tacky temptation cheese day where we do the tackiest stuff. Exactly. You know, the challenge.

SPEAKER_00 16:18

I love my favourite shot, was like of the whole show the glass lift full of like all these men. Yes, like yes, it's like in incoming temptation. Also, these women there was a woman in the temptation group of ladies called Chanel Brown.

SPEAKER_02 16:37

Really? And she was incredible.

SPEAKER_00 16:40

She was incredible. Give her a show.

SPEAKER_02 16:42

Give her a show. Maybe she should be The Bachelorette.

SPEAKER_00 16:44

Exactly. All these ladies got such a raw deal because they looked up being like ready to ready to do my one day of filming, ready to like make it big, have my TV moment, and then these blokes were like, oh no, it's so disrespectful.

SPEAKER_02 16:58

Shut it down right now.

SPEAKER_00 17:00

They should have gotten not paid for that.

SPEAKER_02 17:02

Does anyone work at corporate in corporate? Like, I'd be polite at least.

SPEAKER_00 17:10

They had to do all the toilet camps. Half of the show is just an image of a toilet door, and then just like mics being like, Yeah. You should scare you. You should cry. Yeah. But get back out there.

SPEAKER_02 17:24

Get there, come on.

SPEAKER_00 17:25

Do it.

SPEAKER_02 17:26

Or else you won't get your bowlers. And then airbreak. I must say the accompaniment of the classical instruments this to ear. The violin.

SPEAKER_00 17:36

The cellos. Beautiful.

SPEAKER_02 17:38

Honestly. Beautiful sounding. Stunning. A few big meaty drums. I loved it. The timpanies. The timpanies. Timpany, I can see you.

SPEAKER_00 17:50

So the ultimate violence week. Do you remember that Montoya clip?

SPEAKER_02 17:54

Yes. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 17:56

Scott was giving us Montoya realness.

SPEAKER_02 17:59

Yes, yes. He was like, she fucked me. I've been fucked for three months. I was like, are you saying what we're saying, doll?

SPEAKER_00 18:09

Mate. Scotty.

SPEAKER_02 18:10

Scotty, darling.

SPEAKER_00 18:12

Darling.

SPEAKER_02 18:13

Also, I might be jumping ahead here.

SPEAKER_00 18:15

No, does it?

SPEAKER_02 18:16

Oh, just quickly before I forget, when Jaya stormed out and she was rocking Crown Street in that little tiny pastel dress with two strat slut strands and calling her Uber Black.

SPEAKER_00 18:26

She is my fucking queen.

SPEAKER_02 18:29

I'm going, that is someone who's ready for the Daily Mail. That is someone who's ready. She's destined for this. Yeah. I was going, this show hasn't even aired, it hasn't wrapped, it hasn't anything. And she's going, take my microphone, take my microphone. Take my phone, microphone.

SPEAKER_00 18:45

I'm gonna get into Melbourne to see my daughter.

SPEAKER_02 18:47

I'm gonna see my daughter. Scott, come with me. I'm going, this is a lot of audacity.

SPEAKER_00 18:51

And then for her to then go put her bags on the flight, take the bags off the flight, go straight back to the Woolies Metro suites, like incredible. Incredible.

SPEAKER_02 19:04

Just give her like give it gold logie. Exactly. Sports bronze Sports Girl Bronzer has never had a better ambassador. I'm gonna say that right now.

SPEAKER_00 19:13

And the looks, they just get the look. Also, were you watching the after show, the maths after the debug? Do I ever they fucking tried their best to ruin her and she was just like she was like, babes, did you want a fucking show or not?

SPEAKER_02 19:28

She was going, look, what do you want?

SPEAKER_00 19:31

She was like, what do you guys fucking want? They're like, What do you want? You spoiled the show.

SPEAKER_02 19:35

I'm like, this is my favourite show on earth, and you spoil it for the whole of Australia. I was like, girl, is this fucking is this the confessional at Hillsong on a Sunday at Cornella B?

SPEAKER_00 19:45

Forget Ukraine, forget Iran. You spoiled the end of Scott and Gia on maps, and it's actually disgusting.

SPEAKER_02 19:54

Petrol prices are rocketing. Skyrocketing. And what are you? Fucking ruining it for the whole of Australia.

SPEAKER_00 20:00

It's a very unustralian of you too.

SPEAKER_02 20:02

So it's the most un Australian thing. It's so unAustralian. It's an Australian.

SPEAKER_00 20:06

When they made her look down the barrel of the camera and go, sorry, Australia.

SPEAKER_02 20:10

Sorry. For spoiling it, for leaking it. It got leaked. It got leaked.

SPEAKER_00 20:15

Someone leaked it and they're like, no, no. That guy's like, nah, you leaked it.

SPEAKER_02 20:20

Oh, I leaked it, yes. Sorry. I leaked it.

SPEAKER_00 20:22

Well, yes, I did.

SPEAKER_02 20:24

I liked it. I liked it.

SPEAKER_00 20:25

Liked it.

SPEAKER_02 20:26

I liked it.

SPEAKER_00 20:27

Because my daughter And you know what?

SPEAKER_02 20:30

I've yeah, I called I called Josh 48 times in 10 minutes. What do you want? I told him yes, I was getting out in a week.

SPEAKER_00 20:38

Incredible. Uh we also had this iconic moment at the temptation dinner parties where I loved so we got the the boys being like, oh, it's look, lovely to meet you. Chanel Brown is it? Yep, you look great. Lovely you come out. But I'm just gonna say, I'm not doing it. I'm not gonna fuck you tonight. I'm not gonna fuck you tonight. I'm not gonna put you on the spot. So don't even try. No. With David. You know, analys off the table. No, I'm not gonna do it. Not gonna do it. And then cut to Alyssa being like, let's see.

SPEAKER_01 21:12

Let's see. Is the grass always green? And then.

SPEAKER_00 21:16

And then Beck he's circumcised.

SPEAKER_01 21:20

Who wants to do a bump? Biedy bump, baby bump, baby bump, baby bump.

SPEAKER_00 21:24

Get your foreskin's out, boys. I just was like, I know which party I want to be at.

SPEAKER_01 21:29

Yeah. I want to do a booty bump with Beck in the bathroom. Take my mind. Please.

SPEAKER_00 21:36

Take my mind. But then oh, and then they just MAPS, it's like it's like the Mass Producers, like they want it to be chaos, but then when it gets too fun and chaos, they're like, oh what, reel it back? And then they like shame all the women.

SPEAKER_01 21:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 21:49

They're like, oh, you disgusting women. You didn't play the game. And it's like the real game is this.

SPEAKER_02 21:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 21:55

And they delivered. These men were so boring this season.

SPEAKER_02 21:58

I know. And they were so fucking easy to manipulate.

SPEAKER_00 22:03

Fucking hell, Danny. Do you know what I'm owned?

SPEAKER_02 22:07

And he's going, hold on, why are you dropping the L word when we're very much here just to, you know, get to get a few more followers? He's going to be what are you talking about, babe? You know what I mean? Y your cousin wants to fuck me. Your cousin wants to lick me out sideways.

SPEAKER_00 22:29

That man, they were actually perfect for each other in this weird way. I do feel I actually was genuinely devastated that it didn't work out for that.

SPEAKER_02 22:37

I was genuinely devastated that he just didn't lean in and just do more. Like he was like, what? He's going, is this for real? But then I was like, Beck, are you not seeing is was there some hardcore Okay, this is a serious question I have. Yeah. Okay. So obviously I get that we probably don't see all of it. And Beck's going, like Beck's obviously, you know, having like surely Beck can see that this guy's 25%. And then she's going, you know, I love him. And you know, we are soulmates, and he was so good with my family. Yeah. Wants to fuck your cousin.

SPEAKER_00 23:16

In our three million dollar house.

SPEAKER_02 23:18

You know, and he's gonna be moving in with me because I have found my soulmate. And she started getting it a little bit, but then at the end she was like, he's gonna really have a come to God moment. So is he behind the scenes going, Yeah, babe, you're right, we are in love.

SPEAKER_00 23:31

I think so. I think he's I think behind the scenes he was like the whole time like, babe, listen, babe. Yeah, what we're gonna do is for the story, yeah, final vows, babe. Yeah, I'm gonna do I'm gonna drop to my knees and that'll be my come to Jesus moment. I think he fully had her thinking that we were gonna have this like fairy tale ending. It has to have been. And then he fucked her so bad.

SPEAKER_02 23:56

So bad. I was on the only reason why I'm not declaring my love for you right now is because I've been hurt before. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00 24:04

No Do you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_02 24:05

Do you know what I mean? Peaky blinder.

SPEAKER_00 24:08

Men used to die in trenches. And now we've got trench foot. Peaky blinding.

SPEAKER_02 24:17

Yeah, peaky blinding, blind sighting.

SPEAKER_00 24:20

Such a prawn though, because and they did not have him with his kit off enough because that bod was fucking snatched. Snatched. If you could just paperbag that shit, I would absolutely be in that.

SPEAKER_02 24:33

You were going gallic prawn one gallic pen.

SPEAKER_00 24:35

I was like, prawn penne, please.

SPEAKER_02 24:38

Penny, please, thanks, Dallas. Um, because I'm going, surely, because she was quite clued on, and I thought this is giving what it not what it's showing, yeah, at all. And she started getting it like I kind of feel like I'm a maybe. I'm going, yes, we're all going, yes.

SPEAKER_00 24:56

We're all at home screaming like babe. Uh then we had the oh well actually sorry, also at the final test, she took the phone number from this absolute geezer. If if there wasn't already enough geezer on the show, enter this other bloke, whatever the his fucking name was. He was great. He was fat, he was incredible. Um Gia being like, my type is anyone's gonna pay for me. You pay for me.

SPEAKER_02 25:28

I want to be a traffic wife.

SPEAKER_00 25:29

He's like, marry me right now.

SPEAKER_02 25:30

Well then marry me now.

SPEAKER_00 25:31

Marry me right now.

SPEAKER_02 25:32

Fuck this and bags out here.

SPEAKER_00 25:34

Marry me right now. Just bag at my apartment. Let's fucking fucking go.

SPEAKER_02 25:37

Go as many bags as you want.

SPEAKER_00 25:39

That's the show I wanted to see. I wanted to see the alternate ending where they in that moment went and had like a crazy night on the town.

SPEAKER_02 25:48

Yeah, I want like a Geordie Shaw Mavs crossover where it's still kind of problematic.

SPEAKER_00 25:53

Because it is Mavs does that thing, doesn't it? It's like dances on the edge where like they they're pitching it to the Pearl Clutchers, who are like, oh Sanctity of Marriage. I'm watching it because I love love.

SPEAKER_02 26:04

I love love and real love, and it's so hard. Let's keep the family traditions alive.

SPEAKER_00 26:09

It's like, do you or do you love people throwing wine? Yeah, because that's what I love.

SPEAKER_02 26:14

Um King Ding a Ling, chuck a wine glass, bring Martha back.

SPEAKER_00 26:19

Oh, exactly. Uh then we had the final dinner party. Um my god, this was storms off. This was a big storm off season.

SPEAKER_02 26:33

Also, can I just say Rachel and um God, what's that asexual's name?

SPEAKER_00 26:41

Uh Steve. Steve. Sharp. Fuck off. Can they sharp? I actually just like we don't even need to discuss that.

SPEAKER_02 26:48

Can you guys just shush please?

SPEAKER_00 26:50

They need to. I'm bored. Boring.

SPEAKER_02 26:52

I mean it's giving JJ's jeans it's a warehouse.

SPEAKER_00 26:54

At least Stella and Philip, who are other boring couple. At least they like kind of gave us a little bit of intrigue.

SPEAKER_02 27:01

Yeah, intrigue and like a little bit less like milking it.

SPEAKER_00 27:05

Like I mean, she her with the finger bang. Yeah, that was really that was incredible.

SPEAKER_02 27:11

I'm getting um bring back finger banging on a t-shirt. Yes. On a little tight crop. That's the best thing that came out. Merch.

SPEAKER_00 27:19

Finger bang was the highlight of the season for me.

SPEAKER_02 27:21

So exactly.

SPEAKER_00 27:22

But if Rachel didn't behave in the way she did, like no one would have even like batted an eyelid at finger bang.

SPEAKER_02 27:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 27:29

No one would have been like, whatever. But she wouldn't.

SPEAKER_02 27:31

I would have been saying it all season. I feel insecure about that. It's like it wasn't a finger bang, was it doll? No. It was probably a little bit of sucky sucky.

SPEAKER_03 27:42

You reckon?

SPEAKER_02 27:42

Yeah. Oh, for sure, as if he's getting the one-two barracuda out. He doesn't even know he wouldn't even know what to do. That's his worst nightmare. I actually agree. It's his worst nightmare.

unknown 27:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 27:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 27:54

He'd be like, or just give my dick a little stroke.

SPEAKER_00 27:57

I I think you're right. I think it was she was like, Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 28:00

She woke up. Don't you like this? Don't you like this?

SPEAKER_00 28:02

He had a little morning stiffy. Yeah. And she went over and she was.

SPEAKER_02 28:06

And it just poked her in the leg. And he obviously, yeah, wasn't conscious to be absolutely horrified in himself. I think it's just giving asexual that just needs to be left alone.

SPEAKER_00 28:16

Yeah, it was giving love on the spectrum. Yeah. Um, and look, we love that.

SPEAKER_02 28:21

And I love the LGBTQI, A plus community. You know me. They pay my bills.

SPEAKER_00 28:28

Big fan.

SPEAKER_02 28:29

I can't believe can I ask you an opinion, Cyclist? Is the the A is not ally. The A is asexual.

SPEAKER_00 28:35

Absolutely not ally.

SPEAKER_02 28:36

Can people stop saying that in Sydney? It's not a big thing.

SPEAKER_00 28:38

The whole point of being an ally is that you're not involved. Exactly! It's not about you.

SPEAKER_01 28:44

You are not in the queer. You're not in it because you're a supporter.

SPEAKER_00 28:47

Yeah, but that's fine. You're like, just be a supporter.

SPEAKER_02 28:50

If you are a fan of the Sydney Swans, does not mean you are Barry Hall. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 28:55

Exactly, it's that. But you can admire.

SPEAKER_02 28:58

Sure.

SPEAKER_00 28:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 28:59

But you're not a queer person. Get over yourself. And do you know what?

SPEAKER_00 29:03

That's fine. Be you, babe. Be you.

SPEAKER_02 29:07

Live your truth, doll.

SPEAKER_00 29:08

Live your fucking truth.

SPEAKER_02 29:10

But yeah, just because you have a gay hairdresser does not make you LGBTQIA plus. Or just because you drive a Jeep Wrangler does not mean you're LGBTQIA plus. Exactly. Great. Sorry, just needed to clease that up.

SPEAKER_00 29:22

No, I'm glad we've got that off our chest. This side of the thing. I actually was thinking about that the other day because someone someone said that a for L the other day to me, and I was like, I didn't want to be that person that like corrected. But I also in my mind I was like, this person's a fucking idiot.

SPEAKER_02 29:36

This person is a thought. Please stop being thotty. Jesus, poppy, poopy latte.

SPEAKER_00 29:44

So this final dinner party was all about the fallout from the final temptation challenge.

SPEAKER_02 29:51

Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 29:52

Which those little so the iPads kind of made the whole show. The whole show. Because they cut together this thing, and it was just like, look at these girls cackling and blah blah blah blah blah. Also, the guy that they gave Alyssa, the beach sprinter guy, was fucking hot. He was hot ass. He was so hot. I mean, David is also an adult fucking hot dog. But I was like, they gave Alyssa like the hottest guys. He had like thick eyebrows, glasses, beautiful olive skin. He looked dorky, but like he looked like Clark Kent. I was actually like, ooh.

unknown 30:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 30:31

Yeah, yeah. It's very hot.

SPEAKER_00 30:33

He was very hot.

SPEAKER_02 30:33

He was hot ass. I can't believe he missed out on the show.

SPEAKER_00 30:36

And he was talking like he talked a lot.

SPEAKER_02 30:38

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 30:38

And she was like, huh.

SPEAKER_02 30:40

She's like, that's kind of my thing. Yeah. Yeah. They would have oh I would have loved to see them go head to head. So I would I'd subscribe back to David. Don't ever think we're not saying you're hot.

SPEAKER_00 30:52

David, you are so hot. The only thing with David is if I need hear him say experiment one more time, I'm gonna actually unalive.

SPEAKER_02 31:00

And or go back to Brisbane for the experiment.

SPEAKER_00 31:03

He also he needed some lols about David. Because yeah, beautiful to look at. But they both had this problem when they opened their mouths. It was like, oh wow. He would always just be like, Yeah, like I'm here for Alyssa and this experiment in the relationship, and like, I don't know, it's really real at this point in the experiment. And I was like, what are you saying? What are you talking about?

SPEAKER_02 31:30

It was, yeah, it was very low vibration, yeah, yeah, but stunningly good looking. Oh, like very hard.

SPEAKER_00 31:38

They were the hottest company.

SPEAKER_02 31:39

You're not gonna have a problem in the world, David, because there will be a hot someone who really just wants a hot, quiet guy. And you're gonna win.

SPEAKER_00 31:47

Is he a quiet guy, or did he put that on the whole time? I so so believe he put that on. Yeah. I think he's actually a wild fun time.

SPEAKER_02 31:56

Okay, great.

SPEAKER_00 31:57

Do you think I hope so?

SPEAKER_02 31:58

Well, we're gonna be in Brisbane soon doing, you know, a live episode of the pod for one million people coming. So let's go watch. Let's get on the couch and then let's go out to Sporties, lefties. I love sporties. I love sporties.

SPEAKER_00 32:12

I know that it's the best because it looks like the world's most tragic place.

SPEAKER_02 32:16

And then you get down in the basement for a karaoke with those laser lights and a leather vest and a track. Who's just been really holding together the the whole scene for years?

SPEAKER_00 32:30

That is that's what I love about Bristol. It's like everyone's there, yeah, giving it a go.

SPEAKER_01 32:34

Everyone's there giving it a go.

SPEAKER_00 32:35

It's not like you know, Melbourne and Sydney where we're like, oh, this club's for these people or whatever. Yeah, like we don't have the capacity, so everyone's invited.

SPEAKER_02 32:42

Look, we've got Cloudland, but other than that, it's a mix. It's a mix. Mix night. And we love it. Yeah, the mixer.

SPEAKER_00 32:51

What was that line from um The West Coast Cooler Mixer? Real House Size of Sydney. Caroline was like, if I wanted to see the mix, I'd go to Westfield.

SPEAKER_02 33:02

Yeah, right. And um, yeah, shout out to the brown snakes.

SPEAKER_00 33:07

Yeah, we love it. R.I.P. Real House Size of Sydney.

SPEAKER_02 33:11

That's sad. Really sad.

SPEAKER_00 33:13

Because I was watching that a year ago. That was literally like this time last year. We were tackling about that.

SPEAKER_02 33:18

Probably on this day.

SPEAKER_00 33:19

This exact day, I I made sure of it.

SPEAKER_02 33:22

Terry Terry Viviano. Miss her. Miss her so much. My neighbours to the of the Fabulous Gays went to the Prada event the other day. They really hit it off with Terry, and Terry took them to Mr. Wong's after for a fabulous meal and more of a chat. And I said to uh my gorgeous bestie, Tommy Arna, I said, Yeah, you and Terry would get along like a house on fire because they danced at Glenda Yee, and there were a lot of girls like Terry who danced at Glenda Yee.

SPEAKER_00 33:52

Did I I didn't tell I didn't think I've seen you since I went to the rap party that Terry hosted. Really? And she came up to me at it and she was like, Um, I heard you're scared of me. And I was like, Yeah, yeah, actually, yeah. And then like cut to us just like in the photo booth with Hannah Ferrier, yeah, great.

SPEAKER_02 34:19

Um, but it was a great with the big star glasses and the top hat. Yeah, yeah, the bower.

SPEAKER_00 34:27

Yeah, that was fun. Everyone, everyone, everyone, uh, yeah. So the final dinner party was all the fallout from the Temptation Island Montoya challenge. So there was like David being like all of a sudden, and this is why I think David's full of shit. Because all of a sudden he's playing this role of I'm gonna go in there and I'm gonna get my wife back. Yeah. And I was like, you don't believe a word of that.

SPEAKER_02 34:59

And you know, I came here back for Alyssa to fight for our marriage. That was so worth fighting for. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 35:06

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 35:07

I did find that very odd.

SPEAKER_00 35:09

Very strange.

SPEAKER_02 35:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 35:11

They were they were trying to make us believe in true love.

SPEAKER_02 35:16

They were like, okay, we're gonna do actually, we're gonna need one more to camera.

SPEAKER_00 35:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 35:21

And in this one on level three, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 35:24

I'm like, yeah. Um fight for the five.

SPEAKER_02 35:26

I've gone back to Brisbane. I was like, no, you haven't. You're straight back to Green Square doll. So I just metro Green Square. Near the Whitna outlet. Sorry, Jalen. You're on level three, you're north facing.

SPEAKER_00 35:40

I thought that was bullshit, and then also just like Gia and Beck being bestie girls all of a sudden. I loved remember there was that scene where like they just went out for once, and I was like, Yes, please. Yes, please, see you there. Make this the show.

SPEAKER_02 35:54

Make this the show. Yeah. WhatsApp out who are we texting?

SPEAKER_00 35:57

Just them just out, just progressively getting more and more shit based.

SPEAKER_02 36:02

Yeah. God, but that reminds me of some great nights out on the Gold Coast when you're just texting everyone in your phone under DD and hoping someone responds with yeah, 20 minutes.

SPEAKER_00 36:14

It was giving that. And then the the betrayal of their friendship. That's the true relationship story of this whole thing. Is the Beck and Gia relationship?

SPEAKER_02 36:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 36:26

Will got it back here tonight.

SPEAKER_02 36:29

What a backstab. But tell you what, there's some there's some there's some comedian pops in the artist bar doing that tonight, I reckon. You reckon? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 36:38

Doing a few G R. Max Watts, yes.

SPEAKER_02 36:41

Absolutely. Yeah. This is what this is this is their festival. It's like everyone who just didn't want to ever leave high school. They've done the comedy festival.

SPEAKER_00 36:50

I feel like maths jokes at Melbourne International Comedy Festival would go down like a lead balloon because everyone's pretending they don't watch it.

SPEAKER_02 36:56

Yeah, everyone's everyone's pretending they're not self-soothing. Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_00 37:01

They're like, oh, I I would never watch that.

SPEAKER_02 37:03

And then they're like, they've got nine now, and they've got nine now. And they're watching it.

SPEAKER_00 37:10

Yeah. Uh and then before we get to the final vows, I thought we could go through our couples.

SPEAKER_02 37:18

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 37:19

And just give them some some notes.

SPEAKER_02 37:22

Tell me our feedback.

SPEAKER_00 37:23

Um we've said goodbye to Chris and Sam, so we can we can see our latte. Uh let's talk about Stella and Philip. Okay. Um, so what was there? I mean, look, they had the vasectomy thing. Then like he was like, I didn't think I'd ever move somewhere else for someone.

SPEAKER_02 37:41

Let alone Crenella Beach. That's my I lived in Crenella Beach for two years, Sam. I used to be a Stella. Wow. Look, life's long just looking at me, because I've done it all. Exactly. Injectables and Cranola, that was gonna be my life.

SPEAKER_00 37:54

And then what? Their other drama was like some gay at the wedding clocked that he mentioned his YouTube channel, and I'm like, it's 2026. Like, if you everyone has a YouTube channel.

SPEAKER_02 38:04

And what? You you're jealous? You've got three YouTube and a fucking Twitter, you dog.

SPEAKER_00 38:08

Exactly.

SPEAKER_02 38:09

Please give it a rest.

SPEAKER_00 38:10

And that was kind of the extent of their like trials and tribulations.

SPEAKER_02 38:14

And then I was like, the car is just perfect for each other. They actually just are they're actually really well suited. Yeah. Because like they've got the same kind of thing going on. Great perfect love.

SPEAKER_00 38:25

Yeah. Great perfect love.

SPEAKER_02 38:27

And I love Stella being like, no, you have to get you have to get a vasectomy. Because I don't like condoms.

SPEAKER_00 38:34

Which, like, tell me, like, this is a conversation people are having, no?

SPEAKER_02 38:39

I don't know. Like, I love condoms. On anyone. Love that. Yeah. Yeah, look. Just because not know. Yeah. Look, it's very different in all everyone's very different. Yeah. But look, some people when they get in their 30s just have one too many hormones, so they don't need to keep out of it.

SPEAKER_00 38:57

Oh, exactly. Yeah. Yeah, no, nothing wrong with the dinger.

SPEAKER_02 39:00

No.

SPEAKER_00 39:00

Little glow in the dark.

SPEAKER_02 39:02

Exactly. You know, coffee flavoured you can get now. My favourite. What's gonna be next? Chicken broth? Hope so. Chicken broth condoms by Ruby Tees.

SPEAKER_00 39:11

Chicken broth condoms. Incredible.

SPEAKER_02 39:15

Great for your second brain. Sign me up.

SPEAKER_00 39:17

I am Depression.

SPEAKER_02 39:21

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 39:22

Uh Beck and Danny. I feel like.

SPEAKER_02 39:28

Honestly, a beautiful source of entertainment.

SPEAKER_00 39:32

Just like he did this thing that drove me nuts that English people do.

SPEAKER_02 39:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 39:38

Particularly men, where they're like, and it's just a bit a banter. And I'm like, oh, is it? Yeah. But like it's all a banter until like someone's really upset and they're like, oh I'm just you didn't you don't understand.

SPEAKER_02 39:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 39:54

He did that for a bit. What did he say? He was gonna fuck her cousin.

SPEAKER_02 39:58

Your cousin wanted to fuck me.

SPEAKER_00 40:00

Which was like actually kind of funny.

SPEAKER_02 40:02

That's really funny, but you would just die if you're getting this that you would be like, okay, well, it's over now. Like, yeah, well and with him, it's like I'm trying to bullshit the best I can, but you're not helping me, fucking thickhead.

SPEAKER_00 40:14

She's like, it's that girl from the resort at Fiji all over again.

SPEAKER_02 40:18

It's organic Tina! Who was her bridesmaid from Mural's wedding? I fucked Chook on top of the washing machine on your wedding day.

SPEAKER_00 40:29

Her.

SPEAKER_02 40:30

Yeah, it's Tina and Chook all over again. All over again.

SPEAKER_00 40:33

I mean all of these people's first impressions were kind of foreshadowing. Like that moment in Fiji that dictated the rest of their relationship. And then Beck, her whole thing after that was like, because after they had this fight about the number that she took from the guy to give to Gia, and Danny was upset about it. After that, she's like, Oh, we fucked four times that night.

SPEAKER_02 41:07

That honestly more of that, please. Yeah. Her whole thing was just and then she's Well, we're not not gonna have sex, are we? Sorry, out of the question.

SPEAKER_00 41:15

She kept like talking about his big dick and all this stuff.

SPEAKER_02 41:18

And how much they have sex like three times a day. I'm going, okay, more. Tell me more, please.

SPEAKER_00 41:24

But did you notice not a peep from him about that?

SPEAKER_02 41:27

No, he was just well, obviously he was a stone, he was a statue, it went like this.

SPEAKER_00 41:32

There was like moments of him talking about them having sex in Fiji, and it was not good reviews. Really? He was like Dud Root, basically. Really? Yeah, that was the whole drama at the start. And then after that, we never heard back from him about rooting at all. But she's out there telling the girls, aha, I'm getting dicked down.

SPEAKER_02 41:54

I really wonder what that's like.

SPEAKER_00 41:56

To fuck Danny.

SPEAKER_02 41:58

Danny? To fuck Scott and to fuck G to see GRM Scott having sex. I wonder what that is.

SPEAKER_00 42:06

I did find some of Scott's content. And I gotta say, I wasn't impressed.

SPEAKER_02 42:14

Really?

SPEAKER_00 42:14

No. And he's such a cutie.

SPEAKER_02 42:16

Yeah, damn. I know. Just no one's home.

SPEAKER_00 42:20

Yeah, not a lot going on.

SPEAKER_02 42:21

No, the headlights are on. Yeah. Because he's forgot about it.

SPEAKER_00 42:25

I know. But that honestly, that's where I thought their future could have gone. Was an OnlyFans power couple.

SPEAKER_02 42:32

Yeah. Absolutely. That would have worked. God. Yeah. Because you know, the soloists, there's so much you can do. I know. But in a duo, honestly.

SPEAKER_00 42:44

Baby girl. You the world is yours. She is. Always.

SPEAKER_02 42:47

She is. God, that's really turned on a light bulb in my mind. Maybe I have been working too hard out here.

SPEAKER_00 42:55

The other thing I love that Beck uh the phrase that Beck coined was she's like, it's not an argument, it's a ding-dong. I love that.

SPEAKER_02 43:04

It's a little it's a slight ding-dong. It's just a little ding.

SPEAKER_00 43:06

We look, we've just had a few ding-dongs.

SPEAKER_02 43:07

We've just had a few ding-dongs. We've just had a few ding-dongs.

SPEAKER_00 43:11

Every time anything went wrong. I just was by the end of it, I just couldn't believe how in love with Beck I was. And I was screaming, run at the screen every time they were on it.

SPEAKER_02 43:20

Yeah. To be honest, I think she's the most honest. And honestly, I've known girls like that my whole life. And they're still my friends today. Because they are loyal as shit. Yes. And god, we have fun. I have this friend who we were just absolutely trolleyed the other day. And she we're in the kebab shop, and honestly, she's betcoated to a T and we get chips and she goes, Oh, more salt and chips. And then she takes a bite of the chips, she goes, Oh, fuck me. Tastes like the desert. And I thought, I'm gonna be friends with this person until I die. I can't stop laughing about that.

SPEAKER_00 43:58

Incredible.

SPEAKER_02 43:59

So, Beck, if you're listening.

SPEAKER_00 44:01

We love you.

SPEAKER_02 44:02

We love you, and we're going in. Keep doing Let's do a wine tour in the Barossa Valley. Because there's nothing More than I like than a dry red and a bit of fucking gossip.

SPEAKER_00 44:11

And just tell me tell us everything. I want to hear everything from start to finish about what actually happened out there. Please, and I just want to know your two cents for real for real. They need to thank her. The only reason they had the maths after the dinner party show in the first place is because they had extra footage from Beck drunk at the dinner parties, being like, ha ha, yeah, fucking Jaya.

SPEAKER_02 44:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 44:36

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_02 44:37

Jaw swinging. Can I say when I worked at Nova in 2020, they implemented a law, but I think they might have dissolved it where they can only have two or three drinks a night.

SPEAKER_00 44:46

Yeah, I remember that. They must have dissolved it.

SPEAKER_02 44:49

Or she like smugglers, because like there was like the mental health issues, right?

SPEAKER_03 44:54

Ugh.

SPEAKER_02 44:54

And um because of the that group that it went a bit dark because of all the drinking. But now surely, because they've been like say at the um at the retreat, there was a lot of bang retreat. Yeah, and there was a lot of talk to cameras to the side where they ha were very drunk. Pierced. Pierced. That was like school camp.

SPEAKER_00 45:16

They had smuggled things.

SPEAKER_02 45:18

Volka bottle, shout out to Natalie Kelly. We snuck in two litres of Smirnoff to our school camp. 2008. Year 11.

SPEAKER_00 45:27

Two litres.

SPEAKER_02 45:28

Girls had in a Pringles jar.

SPEAKER_00 45:31

That's actually really smart.

SPEAKER_02 45:33

Iconic. Um yeah, because they were visibly drunk. Yeah. So that law must have dissolved. If you know that, if you're doing the little if you're a little lawyer, a little twinkie lawyer out the back of chapter 9, can you verify that for me? Because it must have been dissolved, or they mustn't have just left it out of contract. Left it out of contract.

SPEAKER_00 45:54

They're like, alcohol isn't allowed, but meth is fine. Yeah. Go nuts.

SPEAKER_02 45:58

Weren't there those photos of there's a little bit of white ductu?

SPEAKER_00 46:02

Well, I heard about what went down in icebergs. Really? Yes. Apparently they had a big night out on the bags.

SPEAKER_02 46:08

Because my sister sent me the videos and jaws were on the floor. I've got to send it to you. Eyes out the wazoo. I was like, it's either their first time doing pingers or there's been unlimited bags. And knowing some of the gays at icebergs, I can tell you right now the resources are unlimited. Limited.

SPEAKER_00 46:30

Let's talk about Jaren Scott. We haven't touched on my favourite Scott moment of the season and his iconic moment of having a pink neck pillow.

SPEAKER_02 46:44

Now who's does that? Oh yeah, because it's under the plasma.

SPEAKER_00 46:48

Who's is that?

SPEAKER_02 46:48

Who's this that? What did he say?

SPEAKER_00 46:51

You gotta get a fucking pink travel pillow, do you?

SPEAKER_02 46:54

Do you? Where'd you get it from?

SPEAKER_00 46:55

Where is that flat?

SPEAKER_02 46:57

She's still here. She's hiding, isn't she? She's in the bathroom.

SPEAKER_00 47:00

She's just like pulling up the and what was he like?

SPEAKER_02 47:02

It's just from Kmart. Everyone's got this.

SPEAKER_00 47:08

That was like the moment of the whole show. I was like, this is incredible.

SPEAKER_02 47:11

It's a little more messy than my house. My house is definitely cleaner. Well, he has one piece of furniture doll. It's giving bachelor pad. So I'm not sure.

SPEAKER_00 47:20

Also, I'm like, this is your ticket to the JC, babe.

SPEAKER_02 47:23

On yeah, the waterfront. Come on. Come on, girl.

SPEAKER_00 47:26

Because I don't I know she's a Melbourne girly, but and I would die to nowhere, but I'm assuming like it's a Hopper's Crossing situation.

SPEAKER_02 47:34

Yeah. What do you reckon? I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 47:36

I think she's like in the burbs, like beautiful McMansion in the burbs. Oh, for sure. With the daughter?

SPEAKER_02 47:42

For sure. For sure. It's like giving Tarnate. Yeah. Oh, for sure. Like, I need to know. Mooney. Mooney Pons. She's actually, yeah. That's giving Mooney Pons. She's Mooney Pons. That's giving. Yeah, it's gotta be.

SPEAKER_00 48:00

But she the her whole thing is like, I just want to have a guy that pays for everything and I want to be in the JC.

SPEAKER_02 48:06

Alone!

SPEAKER_00 48:07

And he was your ticket.

SPEAKER_02 48:08

And he was giving devotion. Well, it looks like she got You're a good mum, Gia. You're a good mum. You're a good mum.

SPEAKER_00 48:15

To your daughter, whatever her fucking name is.

SPEAKER_02 48:17

You're a good mum.

SPEAKER_00 48:18

Daughter. Her name's daughter.

SPEAKER_02 48:20

To Tinkerbell. Your good mum.

SPEAKER_00 48:24

Well, she's doing well now with whatever his name is, because they just got matching tattoos. Alan and Gia. Alan and Alan.

SPEAKER_02 48:30

Alan. Alan. I was going, oh God. Yeah. He's giving skinny. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 48:37

Skinny.

SPEAKER_02 48:38

Too skinny for me.

SPEAKER_00 48:39

Yeah, he's. I like a bit of juice. I need I need some.

SPEAKER_02 48:44

On my girls and my gays. And my girls and my guys. On everyone. I need a bit of juice now. Definitely.

SPEAKER_00 48:51

Gia tried to out them for having a showmance at the end. She's like, oh, it's just showmance. Shh. And I was like. Showmance.

SPEAKER_02 48:59

Darling, you're not in wicked. Darling, you're not doing the cursed child Harry Potter. That's please save that's theatre talk. But also while you're no shit.

SPEAKER_00 49:09

That's what these all are.

SPEAKER_02 49:10

You're not at home and away.

SPEAKER_00 49:11

And then her dropping at the final dinner party. You guys don't even fucking know what I went through. He just wanted my body. I was like, say more.

SPEAKER_02 49:21

Please say more. What?

SPEAKER_00 49:23

This is exactly what I like. You just don't even know.

SPEAKER_02 49:26

I'm not just a piece of meat, you know. I'm a mum.

SPEAKER_00 49:29

He'll have sex with me, but he'll never love me. He's been using my body this whole time.

SPEAKER_02 49:34

Meanwhile, he's hunched over the iPad having a nervous breakdown. He's crying every night.

SPEAKER_00 49:39

Him when he did the little chair push and the little storm out. Oh, Scotty boy, come on.

SPEAKER_02 49:46

It was, yeah, it was giving you six. It was clenching the jaw for his life. Yeah, that was that was I thought she would have loved that having a couple of jet skis off.

SPEAKER_00 50:00

I thought it was like all mapped out.

SPEAKER_02 50:01

Yeah, I thought the producers were going thinking, oh god, she's gonna open up a sizzler.

SPEAKER_00 50:06

The thing with our girl Gia is though, and I totally relate to this.

SPEAKER_02 50:10

Because I never thought she would be from Melbourne.

SPEAKER_00 50:12

Really? Oh, I think she's giving us yeah, she's giving a particularly a lot.

SPEAKER_02 50:23

Yeah, yeah. We love Daydream Island.

SPEAKER_00 50:25

But she does need to be in the JC, let's be real. Oh, it's where she's her natural habit.

SPEAKER_02 50:29

She changed the face, she needs to change the postcode.

SPEAKER_00 50:32

But I feel like the grass is always gonna be greener with GR. And girl, I see you, like I get it. Like she just wants to do like a a little cheeky on the side thing.

SPEAKER_02 50:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 50:44

And that's just who she is.

SPEAKER_02 50:45

And that was her intent. And that's fine.

SPEAKER_00 50:48

Totally fine.

SPEAKER_02 50:49

I changed my mind a lot. Yeah. Come on. She just needs to be stimulated by the stimulants.

SPEAKER_00 50:55

She needs a lot. She does bring the drama, but she knows that. And as much as the Maths crew tried to shame her about it, she rose above.

SPEAKER_02 51:04

Well, yeah. She goes, Well, on the first day they said who's gonna be our villain for this week. The ham was straight up. She was like, Also, she probably said that in the video and they said, Yep, straight to the front.

SPEAKER_00 51:13

Oh, even in that after dinner party thing, they're like, Oh, you said in your audition tape that you're the drama. And she's like, Yeah, you're welcome.

SPEAKER_02 51:22

Yeah, she said, Yeah, that's why I'm here. That's why I messaged all the ex-castmates from last year who got absolutely vilified. When did you start your OnlyFans? It was a genuine question.

SPEAKER_00 51:34

That was genuine. She just that's business, that's that's networking, that's background research.

SPEAKER_02 51:38

But she's like, guys, come on, let's cut the shit.

SPEAKER_00 51:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 51:42

And what the fuck is with that pink neck pillow?

SPEAKER_00 51:47

That could have been the whole show. Like, I reckon that was actually sus. And there was some little hoity to hanging out in the hiding in the cupboard.

SPEAKER_02 52:02

Hiding in the cupboard in the ensuite.

SPEAKER_00 52:04

And they cut it all out. Because they really did decide that this year was the year that all the women were gonna be terrible. Didn't they? They decided that. Yeah. They're like last year we had like a guy punch a hole in a wall. They're like, let's not do that again.

SPEAKER_02 52:18

We need to reframe it now, guys. Let's not do magic. Turn it down, David. Limit the words per minute.

SPEAKER_00 52:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 52:25

Do the Peaky Blinder thing.

SPEAKER_00 52:26

But they lobotomised all the men.

SPEAKER_02 52:28

They did lobotomize all the men. They did lobotomize all the things.

SPEAKER_00 52:31

They gave them tranquilizer dice.

SPEAKER_02 52:33

Honestly, that some of them I don't even think had 20 words an episode. True. Who's the asexual again? I can't wait. Steven. Steven. Sorry, I keep finding that. They were like Stephen. Shut the fuck up. Sorry, but an emo from the Central Coast who has a boatworks in marine biology. Asexual. Asexual. Asexual. Which is fine. Yeah. But don't guilt yourself if uh you know into having to go on the whole show. He's been bullied into it by his parents. Yes. Look, doll, we need to come in and say asexual is O A O K-A-O-K. A-OK.

SPEAKER_00 53:06

You don't have to put anything in the QA plus family.

SPEAKER_02 53:10

Yeah, you don't have to put any fingers in the lasagna.

SPEAKER_00 53:12

If you don't want a finger bang, that's fine. That's fine.

SPEAKER_02 53:14

I don't need to be embarrassed about it. Exactly. Don't worry about having to press your little woodpecker into anyone's leg.

SPEAKER_00 53:21

Poor Rachel. So let's talk about these final vows. Okay. Uh incredible work.

SPEAKER_02 53:26

Also, can I just say incredible work by the editing and how they edited it? And because I really was like, or because you know what's going to happen. Yeah, you fucking know. The the monologues before the vows started. Congrats, you got us. Congrats to the team. Perfect. Perfect. Incredible work. That was a good that they need to be like, okay, now this is a really good finale. Yeah. Perfect finale. They went, yes, no, yes, no. Oh no. No, yes, no, yes.

SPEAKER_00 53:53

And there was only four couples. I know the last dinner party seemed very, very light. They were dropping like flies this season.

SPEAKER_02 54:00

Walking in and out. I was going, there's only two people at that table now.

SPEAKER_00 54:03

Exactly. We started with David. This was phenomenal for TV. Incredible. Incredible. Because literally the whole season, she's been going, and then he literally was like, What is the one thing that would drive her insane to not have the last word? She did not. To not have the last word. Oh, so you're just not even going to listen to me.

SPEAKER_02 54:29

Not even listen to my last. And she set it up, going up. She's like, I can't believe I'm going to have to break his heart. I can't believe I'm going to have to do it. No, ma'am. Love him. I can't believe. And they're going, Yeah, you're going to break his heart. You're going to break his heart. Little do they know that they've got Meryl Streep in the back taking him through the monologue. Doing the thing. They've got Timothy Chalamet doing what they did to Kylie in the moment, Charlie X. They've trained this man for three weeks on the north side.

SPEAKER_00 54:57

They had been this whole season, they'd been covertly teaching David how to be a master manipulator.

SPEAKER_02 55:04

And then to go to Alyssa, yeah, you're going to really break his heart. So really just get him. You know, just really like let him down gently. Yeah. Okay, David, you'll be going first.

SPEAKER_00 55:14

He's he's definitely gonna grovel and he's gonna say, I want you back, you're my girl. He tried to get you back because he tried to get her back at the dinner party, and she was like, nah. And then it took me back to the wedding when she was like, I can't marry you. And everyone was like, until you get on your knees. Which was just truly like making a black man get on your knees.

SPEAKER_02 55:38

Yeah, yeah. Like stop that, please.

SPEAKER_00 55:41

What are we doing?

SPEAKER_02 55:41

Yeah, yeah. I reckon I hope. Well, a lot of people have been in my inbox going, she'll never look back and be self-reflective because she's Tululu. But I'm going, the edits are so good. Like she's going, I want you to talk out, babe. And then he's trying to go, what, what, what? And then she's going, and then because you know we should really wait out. I'm going, so they've edited every single week. Yeah. And then this for this to be now that was a mic drop moment. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 56:04

When he went, Finally, in this experiment, I'm gonna find my voice and do what's right for me in this relationship. He said, I want to do what's right for me in this relationship. And I'm like, no, no, no, sir, like it's just what's right for you, full stop. Full stop. The relationship is done.

SPEAKER_02 56:23

Yeah. He was like, you know, it's not a relationship if I lose myself or something. And he's like, and now I'm done listening. I've listened this whole time in the experiment, and now I'm done listening. Incredible. And doesn't look back.

SPEAKER_00 56:36

And we were all there with him. I was like, I stood up and I was like, yeah. I was like, literally, it was so he's like, see of it. And she's like, ah. And then the even better even better. Them letting her do her vows to no one, and then just cutting it. Like it faded out. I was like, they didn't even air her vows. She would have been so mad.

SPEAKER_01 57:00

They silenced me. I was silenced.

SPEAKER_02 57:02

That was the edit, actually. What happened was he knew I was gonna dump him. No doll. No. Sorry, Dunlan. That was the best one. I reckon that'll win a Logie, do you think? I hope so. That'll win a Logie. That's gold logie worthy. That's perfect. That's been the Australian moment of the reality TV. Oh, it's awful. Hopefully, she can have some reflection. But her mum was kind of also painful. You can't leave Adelaide. Sorry, if your mum's saying you can't leave Adelaide, there's a problem.

SPEAKER_00 57:34

Sounds like a new one.

SPEAKER_02 57:34

No, no offense to Adelaide people, but you know.

SPEAKER_00 57:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 57:37

But what about all you've built here in Adelaide? Del Snowtown, Snow Town, where are the bodies?

SPEAKER_00 57:45

Iconic Kim just being like, I'm done listening. I was like, He won he won. He won the game. You won the show.

SPEAKER_02 57:54

You won the whole show.

SPEAKER_00 57:55

Strong opener. Then Rachel and Steven.

SPEAKER_02 57:58

Snowtown. They were like, it's giving like Christian Camp 1999.

SPEAKER_00 58:05

Christian Camp. They finger banged. Um then Beck and Danny. Danny goes, you're my soulmate. Do you know what I mean? For friendship. Soulmate, but for friendship. And she goes. Fucking off.

SPEAKER_02 58:23

That was brilliant.

SPEAKER_00 58:25

She was she just goes.

SPEAKER_02 58:28

She goes, You're all expecting me to lose my mind, but now I'm gonna make you all feel really bad. And then I did feel bad for her. I felt really, really bad for her. Because that emotional reaction I did feel like, oh and she just walked off.

SPEAKER_00 58:41

And then him, this was so funny gross.

SPEAKER_02 58:43

Her vo vows were so like delusional, yes. And it's like she'd never seen a piece of evidence of the whole thing. She's like, You are my soulmate, and you were so good with my family. And this is I'm going, okay, so you've said everything's been good, but clearly there's been ding-dong styles. Ding dong sex the whole time. I really cringe, like I wanted to peel my skin. It was beyond cringe.

SPEAKER_00 59:04

But what's worse is him going, Oh, I'm actually really annoyed that she didn't lose her shit. Because that would have made me look really good if she lost. He wanted her to irrationally react and be like, which look, low-key, I wanted that too, because it would have been safe. But for her, she was a class. I gotta give it to Beck. She was a class act.

SPEAKER_02 59:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 59:26

She was like, I'm just gonna get the victim edit, and you fucking got it.

SPEAKER_02 59:30

Yeah, because honestly, someone's been blindsiding.

SPEAKER_00 59:33

Peaky blindsiding.

SPEAKER_02 59:34

Peaky blindsiding, and yeah, I reckon, yeah. I think his game was up then.

SPEAKER_00 59:40

Up. Do you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_02 59:41

Yeah, do you know what I mean? Yeah. Well yeah. Yeah. On the train to Manchester.

SPEAKER_00 59:47

Yeah, get him.

SPEAKER_02 59:49

He's like, he kind of this is so mean, but I reckon he has a smelly cheesy dick.

SPEAKER_00 59:55

Very cheesy. Very cheesy. Cheddar.

SPEAKER_02 59:59

Thanksgiving cheds.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:00

Foreskin that's kind of fused over. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:03

Bit of eczema. Needs a bit of a panthone and a dry out. Needs to be hung up.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:08

Chicken pimples. Oh.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:11

Yeah, you've got to have a bit of moisture for it to be cheesy, don't ya?

SPEAKER_00 1:00:16

Yeah, I know him.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:17

Anyone knows.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:18

But also, fuck this. Like him just stitching her up to make her look like this crazy. Hysterical, crazy. And he was banking on it. The whole time he was worried about his edit. You could see his face, his eyes were like this the whole time. Beady ass. Speedy C. Hot flushes. He's freaking out. He just wanted to present well. He just wants to be knee deep in putting supposed this show, doesn't he?

SPEAKER_02 1:00:41

Yeah. I've run into this type many a times. And I can tell you right now, uh, running a lot. I ran into someone who faked their own death to get out of what we had in lockdown at the Beresford last Sunday. That's a story for another. They actually faked their own death. They actually faked their Yeah, left their bloody stuffy.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:02

Donated to the the GoFundMe for your funeral.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:05

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:06

Wow.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:07

I almost took their dog to look after it.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:10

Is this person also a flex cast member?

SPEAKER_02 1:01:13

I very much like that. Very much. It was when everyone lost their minds and we were just shacking up with everyone. But I've learned a few lessons and made a lot of money off stand-up from that bit.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:23

So honestly, we do another little COVID moment, don't we? We do. I'm ready. I'm actually ready. I'm ready to get it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:34

Oh, I'm into finder words. I've never been so emotionally regulated in my whole life.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:39

I'm also I'm like this close to faking like I don't know gallandula fever or some shit.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:44

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I've got a tapeworm.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:46

Tapeworm? Sorry.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:48

Yeah, something.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:48

I need to the doctors told me I need to stay inside for at least four weeks.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:53

Is there another variant? We need another variant.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:56

Let's make a variant tonight.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:57

Yeah, let's make a let's go at tonight. Pellegrinos. Pellegrinis?

SPEAKER_00 1:02:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:01

We'll we'll make a verb. We'll go just, you know, didn't do enough social distancing. And then we've got the bolognese variant.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:08

Do you know what I love? Love. Yeah, I love that. And that's how we ended with Stella and Philip. Good on them. Under the Hubbour Bridge. Under the Hubber Bridge.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:17

They got the best um location.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:19

Best location. Slightly overcast day.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:23

I was like, oh, but still beautiful. They got the 360.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:27

They got the the drone shot.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:29

And he got down on Juan Ni and popped. He did it perfectly. The real question. Exposing the whole experiment as a sham in that moment, but also very beautiful.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:42

Very nice. And he's packed the Chirago and he's in Crenella. Yeah. As we speak.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:47

And I believe it. They've been apparently they've been spotted together. Yeah, they have been. All over the place.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:52

Green Hills. Yeah. Miranda Fair.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:58

She'll be pregnant within minutes. Oh, yeah. All that she's waiting. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:05

Having the$5 mimosas and winning a new washing machine. Shout out to all the people in Crenella Beach. I see you. And I was you for a very long time. And all these represent.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:15

And shout out to the beautiful people of Lithuania as well. But um Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:22

Because Stella really represented and I think eyelash extensions are going to make a strong comeback now. You're actually Stella. Hell yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:29

She's had some really good work, Stella.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:32

Yeah, well, she does it herself. That's her business. Really? Yeah. So she's got to be the face. She's the face of her own business. Yeah. Which I went onto her business profile and it's got 40k now. Good on you, Stella. And Philip, would you? Nah, too boring, too straight for me. He's too He he only drinks sparkling water.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:52

He didn't he sip a champagne at one point.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:55

Yeah, and she went and she went, Are you having a drink? And he's like, Yeah, I'm I'd and then all of a sudden there was another sparkling water with cucumber and lime. Yeah. Yeah. Well, he gives micros to know I am like the finer things in life. I like to have some relaxing downtime. Yeah. And that includes two skinny pictures and maybe a Dexie crashed up. Fuck.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:22

You're describing the rest of our night. Exactly. RubyT's, thank you so much. Thank you. What a joy.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:29

I'm so happy that Mass has brought this community together. That's brought people this country together. The family owes you a lot.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:36

Go and see Cherry Vinyl, One Night Only, this Saturday at the group.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:41

Yeah, please. And it's an early one, so you can find it in and then you can go. I don't know. Honestly, if there were more afternoon shows, I cannot believe how much fucking shit I have to miss because I'm only here for a week. What the hell? I feel like I'm gonna miss every show.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:59

Yeah, I know. And we saw a couple shows, and I was like, and then I get overwhelmed. I'm like, oh dude, too hard.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:06

It's too much. Too much.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:08

Are you gonna see any other shows? I'm seeing Birds Tomorrow, Alex Hines, and Sarah Steppel. Shout out, we love ya.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:14

I'm seeing Alakazan, that's probably a really fucking funny little clown. Yeah. Oh, I want to see Kate Dolan. I want to see Annie Boyle. I want to see.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:25

Do you know who we saw last night? That was amazing. Olga Kosh.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:28

Yeah, yeah. She's fat.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:30

What an incredible show. Yeah. Go and see that. All the girls. Oh, Johanna Cosgrove. Oh, yeah. Huge one.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:38

Um, can I just say all the girls killing it?

SPEAKER_03 1:05:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:41

I'm sorry, but I don't know. It's just more of a 3D show from the girls. Yeah. Consistently every year. True. Um, all the guys, keep up your sluts. Keep up your sluts.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:53

See you later, Tom.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:54

Bye, Joel. Bye. Can't wait for the next Chiefs. What's it gonna be? We don't know. COVID 3.8. Perhaps 27. 27. Fabulous. I might be on it. Don't spoil.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:06

Don't spoil it.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:06

My god, you spoil. Oh spoiled. You spoiled. I liked it. I liked it. Bye. Love you, love you.