Aussie Shore - S02E01-02 (w/ Paul Mizzi)

It’s a new recap season as Sam and Paul start our journey on the filthy and hilarious Aussie Shore. This show has it all: tits, tans and late night kebabs. Set in nightlife capital of Australia (lol) Cairns, we follow a group of slutty young bogans on their bender of a slutty summer. But first the gals reminisce on Season 1 and discuss the return of Finding Mr Christmas and Big Brother Australia. 

Transcript

Intro

SPEAKER_01 0:00

This podcast was produced on the land of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin Nation. Welcome to Australia.

SPEAKER_00 0:12

Someone who is such a connoisseur of reality television. The content is hideous.

SPEAKER_02 0:17

So sorry about this. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 0:19

Paul Mitzi, welcome back.

SPEAKER_00 0:22

Hey Sam, thanks for having me back. It's like you never left. Yeah, did I, Lee?

SPEAKER_01 0:28

No. We've been on this call for weeks.

SPEAKER_00 0:33

How you doing? Yeah, going good. Um, yeah, just uh, you know, so happy that Aussie Shaw has come back. It's giving me, you know, this second wind that I really needed. It's giving me life.

SPEAKER_01 0:48

It's giving me something that none of these other, like, I don't know, what do we call this genre? Like sort of unscripted drama, but it's got like a, you know, romance bent to it, if you can call it that on this one. But like it's the only one that I like genuinely fuck with, if that makes sense. Like, I'm watching this wanting to be for it to be, you know, cringe's real style, but I'm like genuinely a little bit into this show.

SPEAKER_00 1:16

And I admit. Do you think the fact that we've just come off of a virgin reality show has made us appreciate it even more?

SPEAKER_01 1:23

Probably, because these are my people, like they're sluts, like I love it. They are like easily the most like sex positive cast of a show ever of all time, and I feel comfortable, I feel at home. But before we get into

Finding Mr. Christmas is Comnig Back!

SPEAKER_01 1:40

that, uh, you sent me an article the other day. Christmas has come early. Finding Mr. Christmas has been greenlit for season two.

SPEAKER_00 1:49

Absolutely. So, for those of you who don't know, uh, Sam and I covered a show last Christmas called Finding Mr. Christmas, and this is like a Hallmark competition show where it's a whole bunch of wholesome men uh vying for the lead of the next Hallmark Christmas movie.

SPEAKER_01 2:11

If you haven't seen this show, honestly, like stop what you're doing right now, pause this, go and allocate like a few days of your life to watching it, and then come back and you'll thank me.

SPEAKER_00 2:24

Yeah, I totally agree. Like, for a show with that premise, it was so much better than what you think it's gonna be.

SPEAKER_01 2:31

Anna gave us arguably the most attractive person that's ever been on reality TV, full stop.

SPEAKER_00 2:38

Yeah, who also has zero talent and could nearly destroyed that movie that he ended up starring in just with his conformity.

SPEAKER_01 2:47

I don't know what you're talking about, Paul. I thought that movie was incredible.

SPEAKER_00 2:51

Yeah, look, if he had his own OnlyFans, like I'm all there for it, even like a on the top tier of that, I would shell out like a lot for that. But I don't know if acting is in his skill set.

SPEAKER_01 3:07

No, but if you were born looking like that, I just think why do it, why try at anything, really?

SPEAKER_00 3:16

Yeah, yeah. Surely you can just sit there and everything just comes to him. Yeah, I think that's how it works.

SPEAKER_01 3:22

Um, what's happening for season two? It's is it coming soon or like later on in the year? Obviously, it'll be around Christmas, right?

SPEAKER_00 3:30

Uh no, it's at the end of this month. So October 27th. Uh it's going to be launched.

SPEAKER_01 3:35

Hang on, hang on, hang on. Whoa, whoa, whoa. It's coming at a time that is famously another holiday.

SPEAKER_00 3:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 3:44

The dropping of around Halloween.

SPEAKER_00 3:46

Well, I think because it's going to be weekly drops. So by the time the season ends, it will be in time to launch the movie for Christmas.

SPEAKER_01 3:56

So is that how we did it last time?

SPEAKER_00 3:58

Yeah, it was. Oh, it was too. But I think we kind of cottoned onto it later on. So a whole bunch of episodes had already aired.

SPEAKER_01 4:05

But not that many. I feel like it was like three or four. Still, I think you're right. I think it was November. Clever, because then when they drop the movie with the winner in it, so the prize is you get to be in an incredibly bad Hallmark holiday movie that may or may not include animals. And uh yeah, so that gets to drop around Christmas, and then we're all excited. Yeah, okay. That's smart, I guess.

SPEAKER_00 4:31

Yeah, and and just for the people that don't know, the movie was called from season one was called Happy Holidays. This is the level that we're going for here. Yeah. Um, but yeah, there it looks like the season two cast is exactly what you think there'll be a bunch of bland generic white guys.

SPEAKER_01 4:51

Also, we've got full cast dates.

SPEAKER_00 4:53

Yeah, we've got full castings. Uh yeah, there's a couple of uh token diversity people thrown in there. We've got a gay, we've African American.

SPEAKER_01 5:04

Um another gay. The gay last time was truly letting the team down. So I hope this guy is a bit better.

SPEAKER_00 5:12

Yeah, so um uh what I'd actually like to do as a party game is show you all the pictures without any of their bios and see which one is which one is the gay, the gay, and I'm sure and which one is the African American, maybe I can guess that as well. Yes, um, but yeah, so I'm I'm here for it. I can't wait. Um amazing.

SPEAKER_01 5:37

Oh, yeah, we were so like I was when I tell you I was obsessed with this show last year, like rocked my world, changed my life. It was so fucking good. So yeah, we'll have to chat about it again this year because it's can't wait. Oh, it's so good. Um, how deep did you dive? Do any of them have OnlyFans? I haven't all dick pics.

SPEAKER_00 6:00

I haven't gone that far. I don't think any of them would have OnlyFans, but we might be able to get some dick pics.

SPEAKER_01 6:07

It's 2025, but yeah, I feel like that would be in the Hallmark contract for sure.

SPEAKER_00 6:14

Yeah, that's not that's not a Christmas vibe. You gotta spread the Christmas cheer.

BBAU is Coming Back!

SPEAKER_01 6:22

Amazing. Uh also in news, Big Brother Australia announced they are back in November, early November to be exact, which is super exciting. Are you gonna fuck with BBAU?

SPEAKER_00 6:36

I don't know, because this is going back to like the original format, right?

SPEAKER_01 6:39

Yeah, pretty much everything except Gretel, who's been moved to the traders, which is also exciting news.

SPEAKER_00 6:45

Uh so are we getting up late?

SPEAKER_01 6:48

Every person I have on, that's the first thing they ask, Paul. And look, I I've been in touch with 10 and they will not tell me. I don't think so. I feel like they would have I feel like they would have led with that in all the promo. Um, no, but that is a perfect segue into why I started my own upplay content, um, which is the uncut series, which you can find on my Patreon. Uh, I thought if 10 aren't gonna do it, I will. So I've got some really fun episodes where we talk about lots of naughty things, even naughtier than this main feed, which might surprise you.

SPEAKER_00 7:28

But wow, is it just like sex noises the whole time? Yeah. Sign me up.

SPEAKER_01 7:36

Yeah, so head on over to Patreon or Apple subscriptions for that. And also, we're recapping the Real Housewives of London over there, which is absolutely just phenomenally good for a first season of a new show, and there's only two episodes left of that, and I cannot wait for this reunion because these London ladies are crazy.

SPEAKER_00 8:01

I've never gotten into a housewives. Is this a good one to pop my cherry?

SPEAKER_01 8:06

Could be because um it's new. I would still always say that though, if you want to dip a toe in, it's Salt Lake City, is the is the gateway drug. I don't know if you're seeing how much that is taking the world by storm at the moment, but every season of Salt Lake is 10 out of 10. Okay, good to know. Good place to start. Plus, you know, Mormons, it's a formula for great television.

SPEAKER_00 8:32

Yeah, we love the Mormons.

SPEAKER_01 8:35

We do, but we also love the absolute feral bogan sluts of this show, Paul. Oh, so good. Oh I can't. So I'm glad they gave us a recap of

Aussie Shore S02E01&02 Recap

SPEAKER_01 8:49

season one because I did completely forget everything that happened.

SPEAKER_00 8:51

Yeah. Um, anything I remembered was the blowjob, and that's it.

SPEAKER_01 8:56

The blowjob with the barbecue shapes being eaten on the top punk by someone else.

SPEAKER_02 9:01

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:02

Yeah, we've got gay sex on this show, season one, which I was like, thank you. Sadly, that's not gonna happen this season, I don't think.

SPEAKER_00 9:11

Yeah, unless I mean Nanaki could bring someone home.

SPEAKER_01 9:14

Oh, have you so firstly, I'd gonna get this out of the way up top, having just watched these first three episodes that we're gonna talk about this week and next week. And they drop all this like cans, they're trying to spin Cairns as like nightlife capital of Australia. Have you been to Cairns recently, Paul?

SPEAKER_00 9:34

I have not.

SPEAKER_01 9:36

So, like I went last year with some friends, I have a really good friend who's from there. Yeah, uh, and we we went up and like stayed at his parents' house and stuff last year. It's the most beautiful place, like you know, tropical rainforest is right there, that reef is right there, like beaches, insane. Culture, not what you travel to Cannes for, uh, especially at nightlife, it is the scariest place to go out, especially for a gay. And when Manaki keeps being like, oh my god, Cannes is the best place to go out. I'm just like, bitch, you're lucky that camera crew's there, is all I'm gonna say.

SPEAKER_00 10:13

Well, uh, I don't know if you saw Manaki on his Instagram just posted a video of him coming home from a night out.

SPEAKER_01 10:22

And well, on Chapel Street. I actually saw Manaki, no joke, two days ago on Smash Street. He um very tall, and those teeth are fluorescent.

SPEAKER_00 10:32

Yeah, um, yeah, you can actually see that this season, the teeth. He's um gone full. She's got the all-stars.

SPEAKER_01 10:39

Yeah, she's got the all-stars teeth.

SPEAKER_00 10:41

Yeah, um, but yeah, this video, this video that he posted, um he's like catatonic. His eyes are rolled back, he's crawling around his apartment, he's got he grabs ice cream out of the freezer and just scooping it out with his hand and like can barely put it into his mouth. So I don't think he knows what the fuck is going on when it goes out.

SPEAKER_01 11:07

I I yeah, as long as there's alcohol and like music, and he's with like a bunch of like girls with fake tits, he's having a good time, I think. And we have that in common, Manaki. So um yeah. Oh fuck, I'm too excited. Let's just get into it. Episode one has the best episode title I've ever seen in my life. It is called I Live in Brisbane, which is something that a lot of these cast have to say. Uh, we get a recap of last season, um, which also Paul and I did recap season one, but it is hidden at the start of one of our Mr. Christmas recaps. So if you go back through the archives to late last year and find that, you can hear us discuss all of Aussie Shore season one. So go and find that if you are a wow, both those things in one episode.

SPEAKER_00 11:59

What a time to be alive.

SPEAKER_01 12:00

Truly. We really get we we were feeding everyone. Um we're reminded about the main drama, which was over this incredibly average man called Tom. He was so average, and they were like Lexi and Lily kind of fell out over him. We got a lot of flashbacks to all the queefing and farting and burping that happens on this show.

SPEAKER_00 12:28

More than any other show on TV, for sure.

SPEAKER_01 12:31

Yeah, and no surprises, Tom is not returning, he's no longer with us, which look very good casting choice, but also apparently it's because he's got a girlfriend now, which Lily tells us, Well, you can have him, but we've got matching tattoos, so he's always gonna be connected to me. What's new this season is we get some hometown getting ready scenes. So we start in Sydney with Con and Jada. Con picks up Jada in a Ute. I think we're led to believe they're like going to the airport this way.

SPEAKER_00 13:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:10

Uh Jada's back with a glow-up, which is actually just she's got braids now.

SPEAKER_00 13:17

Oh, but she has improved the mug.

SPEAKER_01 13:20

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:21

She's looking, yeah. Because I don't know if you remember season one, her face looked different in every every episode, like to the point where you wouldn't recognize who she was episode to episode. So it's definitely like she's decided on a look now and she sticks with it. She's digging with it, which I appreciate. The face is a lot less confusing now.

SPEAKER_01 13:41

She I Jada is good value on this show. She's an essential worker. Um, she later though, we find out the braids were a necessity because she loses her hair in some sort of like luxury yacht like netting accident, which I was like, excuse me, could I need to know more about this? Why were there not cameras present? Yeah, amazing. Uh in Melbourne, we meet Manaki and Cardia! It's like get your earplugs ready, party card's on the screen. She's so ready to go in season two. Um, and we we get the low-key uh sexuality drop from Monarchy. He's like, Oh yeah, I'm gay now.

SPEAKER_00 14:31

Surprise! I was like, Okay, I think the theme of this season is bioration.

SPEAKER_01 14:40

Oh, literally, you just stole the words from my mouth. I was like, as much as I love outcast coming into their own, I'm also like, guys, you are harming people in our community that are genuinely pan or bi or fluid or whatever by just doing that, because it happens twice, and oh my god. But look, we love you, Manaki. Rest in your beautiful power. Uh yeah, yeah. See you at the peel. Yeah, and anyway, we get um some reels pop up of Lexi and Katia because Katia did a full 180 on Lily from last season. She's like, actually, now Lexi's my new bestie, not so into Lily anymore because and I love this. She's like, she didn't even ask me where my nonno's funeral was. That's a bad friend.

SPEAKER_00 15:43

I actually that was that actually hit me deep because I don't know if you remember in season one, we actually learned a bit about her nonno, and she was the one that paid for Kacha's breast implants, and she seemed like really a cool lady.

SPEAKER_01 16:00

She's a part of the show, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:03

Uh yeah, look, yeah, I'm on team Kacha there, like, yeah, fuck Lily.

SPEAKER_01 16:09

Me too for not going to the funeral. Exactly. And then I love that yeah, she's she's decided that Lily is just absolutely shit out. She has shit friend. I think she decided that first, and then I think the nonna stuff was working backwards. But hey, yeah, we've all done it.

SPEAKER_00 16:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 16:30

Then we get to motherfucking cans, party capital of Australia, and the house has also had a glow up. By that I mean some producers have been to typo and picked up a few neon lines, and we get not only has the shag pad had a little uh glow up, but we also get for when the shag pad is full, we now have the slut heart. Amazing, 10 out of 10 producers.

SPEAKER_00 16:59

Yeah, yeah. Whoever thought of that needs a raise 100%.

SPEAKER_01 17:04

Truly, whoever went, look, I don't think there are enough spaces for this cast to fuck in. Let's build a TP in the backyard. Amazing, yeah, and the design is quite beautiful from an aesthetic point of view. It's a sort of has uh an Australiana theme with a bit of corrugated iron in there, and it's really speaks to the uh the shoreline.

SPEAKER_00 17:26

Yeah, it's really considered uh set set design, I feel. Where's the Licky?

SPEAKER_01 17:34

Oh, Paramount Plus have outdone themselves with the slut heart. Uh over in Brisbane, we get Lily and the gay from last season whose name I've forgotten.

SPEAKER_00 17:44

Kyle. Kyle. I think it was Kyle.

SPEAKER_01 17:50

I just had in my notes Lily and Gay.

SPEAKER_00 17:53

Uh okay, I've got it here. His name, yeah, it was Kyle. I was right, it was Kyle. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 17:59

Lily, I'm just still gonna call him gay. Uh Lily and Gay are chatting on the balcony. Um, I love this. She's like, Well, Tom's not coming back because he's got a new girlfriend. And then uh Gay goes, Well, look, I'm not coming back either because look, I've got something really important here that I have to focus on right now. What do you think it is?

SPEAKER_00 18:21

I want to say his family saw season one and said, Please don't be in season two.

SPEAKER_01 18:28

Yeah. Or I thought his job wouldn't give him the time off and he was too spineless to ask for. I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 18:38

He's too afraid of like surely these people have other jobs, I'm guessing. Like, this can't be the only thing they do, right?

SPEAKER_01 18:46

You mean they don't party 24-7?

unknown 18:49

What?

SPEAKER_00 18:49

I I know Con is a barber, but I don't know about the rest of the.

SPEAKER_01 18:53

Oh my god, Con and his hair. Amazing. Yeah. Oh con! Uh all right, back at the house. Um, Lily enters in this tits dress. Is this fucking entrance look? This was gag worthy. It was tits out red fucking dress. I died. Um she tells us that she's over Lily flaunting on social media. Oh, sorry, she's over Lexi. These fucking names, these two I got mixed up. She's over Lexi and Katia flaunting their new friendship on social media, and she's really upset about it. So she thought she'd come in in a like big mistake, huge dress, which yeah, well done. Then we meet. Oh my god. Sorry, I just need to like plug all my holes for this next bit. Francesco fuck meet up. He is a 21-year-old tradie with a curly mullet that his mother keeps tidy for him. And his opening line is, I love to flirt and make the girls squirt.

SPEAKER_00 20:09

What a charmer.

SPEAKER_01 20:11

And can confirm I am squirting. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 20:14

Do they make this guy in a factory just for you?

SPEAKER_01 20:17

Like, yes, they did. He ticks every single one of my boxes. Like, young, dumb, hung fucking tradey. I'm obsessed. Uh, you're not so easily squirtable.

SPEAKER_00 20:32

No, I mean, like, I can see what you see in him, uh, but I definitely preferred the other neuroproof.

SPEAKER_01 20:40

I mean, we'll get we'll get there. And look, honey, I'm not saying that I'm kicking the other newbie out of the bed, but I still think when we can just say it, Lockie, when he joins, I still I'm still more into Francesco. I think he's got a hotter vibe.

SPEAKER_00 21:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 21:02

But anyway, uh, we get a really hot little tradey montage of him, and we even see get to see his mum cutting his mullet, which I was like, oh my god, mum agreed to be in this show. Amazing. Oh god. Uh he walks in and Jada slides off the bed. She's like, she's like, play it cool, girl. Play it cool. And her playing it cool is she immediately grabs him physically, takes him to the kitchen, and makes everyone do shots. So good. Uh and then she tells us in conventional, she's like, it's such a good name to moan. Fringe score. So Jada's already decided that he is fine. Uh, but don't you think like I kind of love Jada for this? She's just like, she's just like, I'm just making it known that I think he's hot. That's it. She's not being crazy despo like someone else on this show. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. I think there's a difference in declaring that you're into someone, which is like a bit of fun, or being like really being like being like uh having the ownership thing and getting it like marking your territory.

SPEAKER_00 22:15

She doesn't she's just so young and inexperienced compared to the other girls, I feel. Um, so I was I just could see danger for her. I was like, you're gonna this is gonna rip your heart out. I just know what's gonna happen. Oh, hang on, are you you talking about Jonah?

SPEAKER_01 22:36

Yeah, it's oh I don't agree. I think she's one of the more mature people on this cast. Oh, really? Yeah, I think she puts on all this like loud stuff, but I think the way she handles this whole situation with Francesco is incredibly mature compared to how Lily and Katio behave around men, which is he's mine, girls back off.

SPEAKER_00 23:03

Yeah, but then look at but look at the results though of Lily's of Lily's uh way of approaching it and Jada, who's getting balls deep in the end.

SPEAKER_01 23:16

Oh, but yeah, of course. But who's maintaining their like fucking dignity of height? Like, do you know what I mean? That's what I'm saying. That's why that's why that's why I think Jada is more mature.

SPEAKER_00 23:28

But what's the what's the point of this show? Maintain your dignity or getting okay, right.

SPEAKER_01 23:34

Sorry, I'm getting it all wrong. She's she's letting the team down. She needs to get in there, she needs to slap Lily in the face and get the fuck off my man. Yeah, true. Um, speaking of mature and boring, uh, Cooper arrives and snooze fest. He tells us that he's loved up now. Which I'm like, mate, you were already boring last season when you were single. Why? Why are you here? It's really why are you here?

SPEAKER_00 24:01

Yeah, unless you're um eating shapes above someone getting a blow job. I don't want to hear about it, Cooper.

SPEAKER_01 24:08

Absolutely. Lexi's next to Enter, she's already burping, having a good time. She tells us she's here to cause chaos. She's grown on me. I did not love her last season, but this season I'm kind of down.

SPEAKER_00 24:20

Yeah. Did you know that her dad was from Big Brother? No. Like he was like one of the finalists in I think season three of Big Brother. So she's like reality TV royalty.

SPEAKER_01 24:37

Who's the dad? What's her surname?

SPEAKER_00 24:40

Yeah, uh her dad uh her surname's Dyer, and he was in the 2004 season of Big Brother. He was in 87 days of it.

SPEAKER_01 24:50

What was his name?

SPEAKER_00 24:54

Something dire.

SPEAKER_01 24:55

I thought you were looking at that. Paul Dyer. Yeah. Finished third place. Also known as chicken. Described as a pot stirrer with strategic gameplay. I need a pick. Oh yeah. I remember him. Yeah, he yeah, but oh my god, he was really bugging. Fuck, she looks like him. Oh my god. He's like a white guy with dreads.

unknown 25:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 25:17

I remember him. He had a really his voice was like, oh yeah. He was real, really leaning into the white guy with dreads life. Our Paul. Holy shit, that makes me feel A, very old, and B, very across Australian reality TV. And I'm comfortable with both of those things. So moving on.

SPEAKER_00 25:50

Oh, and you missed the fact that she says she's a lesbian now. Oh no, that'sn't happening. Sorry, no. Sorry, but she said she's got a girlfriend. She's got a girlfriend.

SPEAKER_01 25:57

She tells us she has a girlfriend, but we haven't had the by erasure blow to the gut number two yet. But she has told us that she's in a girl. She goes, Yeah, love her. She's got a really great face, she's got a really great pussy lover. I was like, Next, we meet newbie Rihanna, old boy, who is 23 and very in your face. Her words, she's a fiery redhead, she's loud, and she's ready to party, and she's so annoying.

SPEAKER_00 26:28

Oh my god. Obsessed with fake tan, but for some reason stops at her face.

SPEAKER_01 26:40

Appropriation.

SPEAKER_00 26:41

She goes all the way around. Like the line around her chin, it just stops.

SPEAKER_01 26:50

It's so weird. Her and Jada, it's like it's like dogs in the dog park. They're like and then they just like start screaming together and it just escalates. And it's so much like if I was in that room, I would have just like turned around and like left the house, I think. Two minutes and their besties running around. Lexi's like, we've got another baddie in the house. I could fucking hear her from down the fucking street, man. Yeah, she fits right in. Fuck yeah. I was like, oh my god, where did they find another one? What is the casting like for this show? Drew, can they just like go to nightclubs and whoever's still there at like 7 a.m.?

SPEAKER_00 27:32

I wouldn't be surprised. Uh, but I think you hit the nail in the head in the head. Like, I don't think I could be in a room with these people. Like 45 minutes an episode, like amazing. But like, if I was trapped for weeks on end, I think I would actually go insane.

SPEAKER_01 27:48

Yeah, because it's like a type A personality convention, and I would just be like, no, I can't be here. Um, Monaki and Cadia are next to rock up. It's already crazy nurse. They're running around, sussing out the shag pad, everyone's dry humping. Uh, but elephant in the room is our girl Lily. Uh, she's kind of just awkwardly strutting around in her Pygma stack huge dress. And Cardia and Lily are like, all right, let's do this. So they had their little moment. Lily's so pygmy girl, isn't she? She's like already in tears, and they haven't even started talking. I'm like, you can do that on cue, bitch. Like, she's like, you didn't even say hi to me when you walked in. And Cardia's like, Look, there's just something I just I can't put my finger on it, like what it is. I'm like, bitch, you were able to explain it to us in confessional like five minutes ago. She didn't ask about where Yanana's fucking funeral was. Um they finally get there. Uh and at this point, they don't ri fully make up. It's a bit of a, well, I'll be on this side of the house, you'll be on that side of the house. It feels a bit like unresolved, but at least they've like acknowledged each other's presence. I don't know whose side were you on at this point? Still Cardi.

SPEAKER_00 29:16

Yeah, definitely Cardi. Like, yeah. I mean, Cardi's the the main character of this show. I think she's the most likable.

SPEAKER_01 29:25

She's so much more likable than Lily. Lily is like such a snake.

SPEAKER_00 29:30

Yeah. Um, well, as at least how they portray her on the show, unless she's got the most like unfavourable edit of all time.

SPEAKER_01 29:39

I think these actions, though, you can't edit those in. Like, so next up is my perfect example of Jada saying to Lily, I'm really into Francesco. And Lily goes, Oh yeah, well, he's all yours. I I'm not even into him. Like, why say he's not my type? I'm not, I'm not into him. I'm definitely not gonna. Why say that, girl? Why say that? Because you are you know, and as soon as she fucking said it, as soon as she said it, I was like, Oh, I guess she's fucking him. I literally same. I was like, this bitch has just nothing, and I know people like this who like it's like they find it hotter when they're not supposed to, or like they know their friend will get annoyed. Do you know what I mean? Like it's like, yeah, oh yeah, huh? And then it's like it's like subconsciously, as soon as she said it, it was like a spell, and now she's like actually into him. So it doesn't matter. It's like I'm not into him, but what I am into is validation, which I'm gonna gaslight you about later on. Like this bitch, like I cannot with the lee. I fucking can't.

SPEAKER_00 30:47

And it and it's like you you really like him. I'm gonna tell you that I don't, so that it seems like it's even it's even worse when I get with it. It's like I can just take someone from you that you really like just because it's not because I like him, no, it's because I'm hot and I have power.

SPEAKER_01 31:09

It's literally just like I'm gonna do it because I can, and you can't, and you yeah, but you want yeah, anyway. Oh my god. Yeah. Well, I feel like in this show it's like with they all can. You just gotta like wait your turn with these guys. They will these guys will fuck a fucking hole in the wall. Like, truly, yeah. Any hole is quite literally a goal with these boys, except for con, who never sees follow-through ever. Con's a fucking deal with con because he's so gorgeous, and I want him to. I mean, he did he what him and Cardi fucked season one, but then feelings got involved, yeah, and he freaked out.

SPEAKER_00 31:48

I feel like Con might be on the wrong show. I actually think he might be too nice a person for this show.

SPEAKER_01 31:54

He is pretty nice. I do like so, but get this. I don't know, I have a conspiracy theory about Conn. So he says to us that he can't fuck with Carti because she's just gone through something really heavy, man. You know, she's in a really dark, dark place. So I don't want feelings involved. I'm gonna call bullshit on that. I think that is a very convenient excuse to give him all us because he gets very excited about all the girls that are gonna be on the boat party. Do you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00 32:24

Yeah, and I mean like people that uh have had grandparents die recently deserve to be fucked too.

SPEAKER_01 32:33

I agree. In fact, probably more, yeah. Uh speaking of Cardi is telling Lily you didn't fucking know where the funeral was, and Lily's response is I live in Brisbane. The the old I live in Brisbane defense. It's like, how would I know anything? I live in Brisbane. We don't have cellular network here. I can't call you like dumbest excuse ever, but I love it. She tried she gave it a red hot guy.

SPEAKER_02 33:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 33:06

Oh god. Anyway, they open the slut heart and everyone gets to check it out. They cast a frothing, and then they head into the main house to get on it for their first time this season, and boy, are they ready to fucking go. Uh Lily and Lexi get ready together, putting their makeup on, and they also kind of bury the hatchet a bit. This I believed more because it was over like a guy that's no longer with us, so it's kind of easier for them to move on. Yeah, but Lexi does tell us, she's like, that fucking bitch is gonna walk right out that door and stab me in the back. And I'm like, she will, like, don't do not trust Lily, guys. Yeah. Um Rihanna tells us fun fact about me, guys. All of my family are dead. Were you not screaming at this?

SPEAKER_00 34:07

Just the way she drops it, yeah. The nonchalant way she drops it, and then she goes, So I can do whatever the fuck I want.

SPEAKER_01 34:19

So good. And they're all a bit like, oh, but again, I need more information here. Like, was there a blimp accident? Like, what happened? Like, how did they all die? Yeah, crazy. What do you think happened?

SPEAKER_00 34:35

Fake tanning accident. She uh she let off the open flames in the house. The house exploded.

SPEAKER_01 34:46

They didn't open a window and they all suffocated from the tan out. The tan out. She goes, Yeah, guys want to meet my parents when we're on dating. And I'm like, Oh, hope you've got a fucking Ouija board, mate. Oh yeah, dead parents. So good. She's wild. Uh Charlotte calls, because get this. Charlotte's in the UK, so we've got a phone booth for Charlotte to call, and she's got a new working from home arrangement, which I was like, something's clearly not gone to plan production wise, and they've come up with this as a workaround, don't you think?

SPEAKER_00 35:22

Yeah, yeah. That's cute. I mean, she said she just had a baby, and that's why she had to do it. Well, that's a fair excuse, isn't it? Yeah. I mean, what's more important, really?

SPEAKER_01 35:32

Yeah. They get lit, uh, Rhee and Cardia already making out. Lexi's pissing in the yard. I'm like, oh, I've missed these crazy.

SPEAKER_00 35:41

Yeah, the depravity on display is just unparalleled. Like nothing else on TV can equal what we see in these monsters. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 35:51

Barting. Fucking pissing. Piss. Oh, yeah. Showers. Amazing. Naked tub. Yeah. Yeah. So we're in the hot tub with Manaki. He's like, I'm gay as fuck, y'all. Woo!

SPEAKER_02 36:05

Or the girl's like, yeah, titties.

SPEAKER_01 36:07

Uh Cardia runs into the house naked to grab Francesco. This scene was so fucking hot. She's fully naked. He's inside putting on a manchini. He's like, Yeah, I brought like six manchinis for the boys, of course. Because he's living in like 2010. I love this guy. He's actually so sweet. Like, I actually like I'm Jada. I'm like, cool damn player, cool. But every time his name is written in these notes, I'm like, Cheers, guy. But this was hot. She like jumps on him and they walk around. And then there's a con uh con is like, yeah, put on a manchini. She puts on a manchini. Um, and then con and Cooper they leave, and Con and Cooper are having a heart to heart, and they're both like such soft boys. That was a bit much, wasn't it? Yeah. I was screening, leave.

SPEAKER_00 37:02

Yeah, Con refuses to put on the manchini. I'm like, what the hell?

SPEAKER_01 37:07

And get in the pool because he's just had a fucking perm. Like, bro. Yeah. You're in the Aussie fucking shore house. Exactly. Man, the fuck up, Con. Get your dick. If I I want to see your dick out the first 20 minutes of the night out.

SPEAKER_00 37:24

But also, Cooper, like, I hate this. And like the other people in the house call him out on it. Just because you're in a relationship doesn't mean you have to be boring. Like, okay, don't make out with everyone, but that doesn't stop you from doing everything else.

SPEAKER_01 37:38

I know. Even I found some of Cooper's OnlyFans content, and even that was boring.

SPEAKER_00 37:48

I can imagine it actually.

SPEAKER_01 37:50

Yeah. Uh Ree and Jada jump in the slut heart, and Ree's like, we need to get Francesco in here for you right now. Jada's like, no. Jada's like, babe, like, chill. But inside, he's already tuning Lily, of course. And she's like, he likes to play a cat and mouse game. And I'm definitely a cat. I'm like, you're a fucking snake, bitch. That's what you are. Like, what? This is hot though. He like whips his cock out of his robe. Did you clock this scene? Some of these scenes, I'm like, I don't know whether to be like erect or like terrified, but it's like a bit of both.

SPEAKER_00 38:32

Yeah. And uh, I think this is probably a good time to call the production out again. That they are so willing to show us all these boobs, but so afraid to show us any dick. Why can't we see the dick?

SPEAKER_01 38:45

I don't get it. This is like dicks they're flopping around. It's not like it's full pan.

SPEAKER_00 38:51

Yeah, it's like MA rated on a streaming service. It's not like it's prime time, you know, free-to-air TV. Show us the penis.

SPEAKER_01 38:59

I know, especially uh next arrival and some of those scenes. I'm like, how are we not saying this? I was crying. But anyway, but we do get a lot of descriptions of them, which I find equally as hot. Um, and later on, Jada does say that Francesco has a nice girthy one. So I've got that mental image. Until the OnlyFans, you got that. Which I think with him is likely. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 39:27

And the next guy is. And I think it's likely for both of them.

SPEAKER_01 39:30

I feel like they're gonna be doing like tag team content any day now. Let's just will that into existence, Paul. Okay, I'm doing it.

SPEAKER_02 39:38

I'm doing it.

SPEAKER_01 39:40

Oh my god. And then they kind of head downstairs. This is when, yeah, self-fulfilling prophecy, because Lily said she would never go there. Which she never like that, it's like she never said that. Yeah. Game over. Uh, drunk Katya is trying to pash con, and he's like, No, I am a sensible man of my word, and just on the cheek. He's like, I'm not fucking that bitch because she's just lost a family member, and I don't want her being clingy, is literally what he's saying. But still her best interest. Uh Francesco and Lily make out in the bathroom, and then we get some foreplay in the shag pad, which is hot. But she's like, I'm so good, you guys. I'm this is a new Lily because we're not gonna do full pen. Like, slow clap for Lily, you guys. She's really growing. Like, what a like what a piece of work to try and she's gaslighting the audience now, too. She must know what she's doing. 100% she knows what she's doing. She's like, oh, but it's not sex, so it doesn't matter. Anyway, she's in her growing phase, I place. Uh next morning, and it's time to go to work. Which how do you feel about the work between the show? Does it need to be on the show?

SPEAKER_00 41:04

I mean, it's it's so stupid, but it also does have some good opportunities to see them. Like, there is a joy in seeing them having to, you know, be functional humans after such like disgusting nights out, um, yeah, you know, fighting through the hangars.

SPEAKER_01 41:22

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Especially when they're hungover, I do like seeing them have to do something because they're like, Oh, that is fun. But the bit where the boss is like, you've done a terrible drama, I'm calling Charlotte. I'm like, okay, do we need this bit?

SPEAKER_00 41:36

Yeah, I mean, the one in episode two was very good where the guy's like, fuck off. Get the fuck up.

SPEAKER_01 41:43

He was going for a Logie that book. Yeah. Uh so this first one is molasses barrel cleaning. I love they've always very Queensland jobs. Yeah, it's like, yeah, take all these cane toads out of my field, kids. Uh Manaki's like, Molasses feels like cum, you guys, and they all decide to have like a cum fight, and then the whole thing just descends on the thing. Um, and Charlotte's like, I don't think this working from home nonsense is gonna work. Um back at the house, Cooper taps out. Thank fuck. Do you think you actually wanted to? Or the producers were like, get out, mate.

SPEAKER_00 42:22

You have not I don't understand why you even rocked up in the first place. Like, why did you even come here? Free trip to Cairns, I don't know. To come and complain and leave.

SPEAKER_01 42:32

Yeah, I hope him and his missus are doing well. Thank you very much. Yeah, uh, bye, girl, Lexi's like, get fucked. We've got to break the stigma. Oh, you already mentioned this, about yeah, just because you're boring, because you're in a relationship. If you're boring, you're fucking boring, is the exact quote for that. Love. Great. Then the crew hit the wool shed and can confirm this place is terrifying. Uh Monarchy.

SPEAKER_00 42:59

We've got a wolf shed in Adelaide as well, actually.

SPEAKER_01 43:01

Of course, there's always a wolf shed.

SPEAKER_00 43:03

And it's also the same.

SPEAKER_01 43:05

Is that yeah? Uh Monarchy says, Look, the party scene is so great in Cairns. I'm like, what are you talking about? And Francesco tells us he's he's had a few tequilas, he's toe on the dance floor, and I was just like, my man. Jada is kissing everyone on the dance floor, which I think is completely normal behavior. Yeah, but Lily's like, oh my god. She's being really intense, you guys. She's like kissing all these guys. I'm like, what you cannot talk? Like, what are you talking about? She's like in control, she's like having consensual fun with guys that she wants to have, and then he's like, You guys, I'm really worried about Jada, she's reckless.

SPEAKER_00 43:58

Yeah, I've been in this. Position. I know what she's doing.

SPEAKER_01 44:02

Oh, I know what she's doing. It's self-destructive behavior. Do you think Lily's been to like a psych recently and she's got all this new lingo she can't wait to like use on people?

SPEAKER_00 44:11

Or at least watch a psych on TikTok. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 44:15

Yeah. She got some some words down. Oh my god. Uh, and we end with oh my god, this scene. So this scene is so hot. I really want them to release the tapes of this. It's Lily again acting like she's not sleeping with Francesco. So she just she goes into the boys' room, all the boys are there, and she's like, Can I do something? He's like, No. And she's like, I'd rather just watch you do it. So she basically just like watches him right on out with all the guys there. I'm like, that is so hot.

unknown 44:55

No.

SPEAKER_00 44:57

I I I got it, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 44:59

Wild.

SPEAKER_00 45:02

Why did we have to say that?

SPEAKER_01 45:04

And and again, like what other show on TV is giving us? It's doing that. And to finish with that on the first episode, I was like, thank you. Yeah. Then we had episode two drop on the same day. It's also got a great title. It's called Ten Kebabs. And we start in the morning with Jada being like, I've got my bed to myself again. Where's Lily? Cut to her in the boys' room still, and they're discussing Jada. She's like, guys, she's passing everyone. Really worried, you guys. Uh Jada is still keen on Francesco because he's hot, but she's happy to make out with everyone else as well. Like, I I don't know. I I am I the only person watching this I'm just like, she's very normal. Like fun and crazy, but like she's not doing anything harmful, I would say.

SPEAKER_00 45:57

Yeah, she's 22 and drunk and in a club.

SPEAKER_01 46:01

Exactly. Yeah. If anything, Lily's probably just mad because she's got locked into her own bullshit about only hooking up with guys that like someone else is into. Because that's clearly her kink. So she's just mad that other people aren't focused on that, maybe. I don't know. That's my theory. Uh con talks about eating ass in the morning, and Lexi's like, it's 9 a.m. But of course, even that con makes it pouring. He's like, I shower before sex, and I expect my partner to also have had a shower before sex. Like, thanks, Con. Oh my god. Everyone is talking about this boat party. So this boat party was a flop, no? Like, how much did they think this boat party is gonna be everything?

SPEAKER_00 46:53

I think just after last year's boat party that was like in a typhoon and they all nearly died. Anything was a plus for them. Yeah, true.

SPEAKER_01 47:02

But the big thing is that Callum is gonna be there. Um, yeah. Were you glad to see him back? No, can I like hot take? But I think Callum is a flop. Like, he gives nothing to me. Like, I don't think he's good looking, like his style is horrible, he doesn't add any value to the show. Maybe last year because he was like he came in all cocky and he like fucked Lexi and stuff, but like I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 47:31

Like he's got the fun accent.

SPEAKER_01 47:33

Yeah, I think they want him in the same way that they want Charlotte to like endorse the show, but I don't think they need that, yeah. Yeah, because they all treated him like a celebrity in season one, yeah, which was like whatever, but now they're they are their own celebs, so we don't need but he's on the earth a little bit, they bored the sea dancer, and him and Lexi chat. Lexi was a bit nervous because she hadn't seen him for a while, but uh she tells him that hey, she's moved on and she's knee deep in pussy and she can't be happier, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 48:09

And he was he had some like reasoning that like it's the best thing ever when your ex like fucks a girl next.

SPEAKER_01 48:16

Gross, so gross, like yeah, he yeah, he he of course has to make it into some like oh like I was the best guy ever, so now she's done with guy, like, oh really we're doing that still, yeah. Anyway, if anything, it's embarrassing because just like us, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 48:35

You literally turned her off.

SPEAKER_01 48:38

Yeah, you turned it off a mental light. That's the way I'm gonna look at that.

SPEAKER_00 48:41

So even though both of those things aren't actually true, since he brought it up, let's go with that theory.

SPEAKER_01 48:48

They talk about Tom as well for two seconds, and I'm like, who boring, move on. Uh con was all excited about the girls on the boat, and then his game. Oh my god, con get some game. He goes up to a girl, he's like, You're an 8.2. She's like, this me. Mind you, he does end up almost bringing her back home to the house. But he's like, No, but I'm a 7.5, so it's all good.

SPEAKER_00 49:18

That is that's straight out of the pickup artist negging handbook.

SPEAKER_01 49:25

Yeah, like a hundred percent. He's definitely watched some fucking incel as fuck YouTube's, yeah, and he's like, Oh, yeah, I'm gonna make these bitches feel real insecure. Yeah. Well done, Con. Then they head to the full moon party at Gilligan's. It's on my fucking Donkey Kong. Yeah. Cardia is so we need to talk about. Is it tequila cardia? Is that the alter ego?

SPEAKER_00 49:52

I think so, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 49:52

Yeah, so tequila cardia weirdly is less fun than just regular cardiac because she sits around and watches guys that she likes kissing other girls and gets really mad about it.

SPEAKER_00 50:06

Yeah, she's prone to crying for sure. As as the cards.

SPEAKER_01 50:10

She's crying in the club. She loves it. She's like, oh, so she's watching con with the girls and she's like, Oh, and like, I don't want this for you, babe.

SPEAKER_00 50:18

Yeah, yeah. It's funny because I think she really is a person that does not need alcohol. She is so fun. She's a tranquil as a dart. In the daytime, she is so fun, and then this happens. She becomes like this miserable person in the club, and then what we've seen in season one, then she uncontrollably eats and then has like explosive diarrhea all night and can't actually do anything. Yeah, so yeah.

SPEAKER_01 50:50

Totally. You're right. I don't think she could almost just not even drink and go out and like still do everything she needs to do. I don't know. Fuck it now. They go home by the kebab shop, and this is iconic. Cardi's like, I need 10 kebabs, I need lamb, I need chicken, I need mix lava. She's already like got one in her mouth. Yeah, this was me like leaving the club.

SPEAKER_00 51:15

Yeah, I mean, that was such a relatable image. Like, it's such an Australian thing to have that kebab after a night of night clam.

SPEAKER_01 51:23

And the way you're ordering it is just like, yeah, and the way they're eating everything, yeah. The way they're eating them, they're in the car. I could smell it through the screen. I could smell that sweaty car, and they're all like covered in like face paint that's coming off, and garlic sauce, garlic sauce, exactly. And this is when Cardia is like, what? To the random girl who's with Con in the back seat, and she fucks it up. She full cockbox con. Yeah. Because this girl's like, um, okay, I'm gonna go home. Which I was like, clever girl, yeah, get out of there. But what a dog move. I know she just signed the release form and everything.

SPEAKER_00 52:07

Yeah, actually, one thing I didn't mention that they've introduced this season is drunk confessionals. Did you notice that? Like this year, instead of them just being like shooting them later, they're literally shooting them as they are trashed. Perfect, and you're getting these really unhinged confessional moments. So good.

SPEAKER_01 52:27

Oh, I'm so into it. Like unethical, but great. Well, we get Lexi now in one of these, and she's like, We all gotta go to bed, we're fucked. Um then uh Con and Cardi are have like a drunk fight, but then she kind of apologizes and they make up and whatever. But I feel for Con here because his pickup artistry did eventually work, and then Cardi shut it down. But imagine Cardi the next day if he fucked some random bitch this night.

SPEAKER_00 52:59

Yeah. She would have gone in there and like pulled her hair out totally.

SPEAKER_01 53:04

But also, if Con is a man of his word and really cares about her, then that would have been the right the right thing to do would have been not to invite someone back. But he does say he's like, Look, I would like to invite some girl, be able to do that. So you're gonna have to get used to it. And she's like, okay. Anyway, enter Lockie. Oh my god. Fuck me. Don't you reckon I knew you were gonna like him? I mean, who wouldn't? He's so fucking hot. But don't you reckon he's got an Aaron Taylor Johnson vibe? I can see it. Yeah, similar build, similar face almost, yeah, and the long hair, and then also big old dick.

SPEAKER_00 53:44

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 53:46

They are similar. I mean, he's not as pretty as um ATJ, but yeah, he's like a boat, he's like a Melbourne bro version of ATJ. Because can I tell you, I know this, I know this man, he's like a footy guy, but he he even says in his intro, he goes, Mom, sister, both lesbians. So everyone in my family loves vagina, yeah. Then he goes, and yeah, I've necked on with a few blokes before for shits and gigs. I'm like, you sure have. And yeah, I am usually said bloke.

SPEAKER_00 54:24

Have you have you seen this guy in the wild?

SPEAKER_01 54:26

Have nobody seen him? I can't wait to.

SPEAKER_00 54:31

Yeah, that's so hard. 2025 mission by the end of the year.

SPEAKER_01 54:36

It's such a bad, it's such self-destructive gay behavior from me. And stop me or tell me if you have the same thought. But the way he's so cocky about his big old dick, it's just turns me on so much.

SPEAKER_00 54:49

Oh my god. Yeah, I get it. I totally get it.

SPEAKER_01 54:52

And I want to see it, and he needs to just show it to us. Release the tape. He walks in going, Yeah, got a big old cock. Um come on, Paramount. Yeah, we need the receipts.

SPEAKER_00 55:05

He's literally whipping it out at least once per episode that we've seen him in so far.

SPEAKER_01 55:09

So well, ironically, Paramount also have South Park, which is currently airing a new season where they make sure they show Donald Trump's tiny dick in every episode for legal reasons. So, you know.

SPEAKER_00 55:22

Just do just the opposite of that. Yeah, like uh and is it Paramount that has dating naked UK where it's all just dicks?

SPEAKER_01 55:33

Who can keep up with where who owns what I'm pretty sure?

SPEAKER_00 55:38

I'm pretty sure they are doing it. Like they have a whole show that's just like wall-to-wall dicks. Show us a dicks.

SPEAKER_01 55:45

It could be none of these blokes wanted that, but I highly doubt it.

SPEAKER_00 55:50

But yeah, anyway, whatever. I think you need to get lucky on the show, interview him and ask him specifically about this. Sure.

SPEAKER_01 55:58

We're gonna cut measure out that would be on uncut. You would have to subscribe for that, yeah. Uh, yeah, no, he's got such a Melbourne lad energy about him. Um, but yeah, hot the bod, also the the booty. Uh, it's wild. And he seems kind of fun. So he walks in, comes on strong. So he already knows Cartier. He's like, Yeah, I know Cardi Party. We've had we've got some unfinished business. And she wakes, he wakes her up, and she's like, Oh my god, she's just had 10 kebabs the night before, and she's like, I'm in trouble. But Paul Blok, he walks in like fresh and excited, they're all covered in garlic sauce.

SPEAKER_00 56:43

Doesn't am I remembering this wrong? Did he get some eggs out of the fridge and start breaking them on them while they're sleeping? Yeah, yeah. Breaks egg on Lexi, I think it's the show.

SPEAKER_01 56:53

He's fucking insane. So you can says hello to everyone. Yeah, he's also got a message for the boys. Uh also Manaki knows him as well. Sorry, just first. He's like, know him from Melbourne, party boy, shit starr. Love it. He's like, he's also a bit alpha, and that's gonna piss off con. Love that story. He's like, got a message for the boys. Off you go to work. I'm gonna stay at home with all the girls. Great twist by production. Yeah. And literally, like five minutes into this, his dick is out. Um, he's in the pool doing handstands, he's like in the shower outside. Incredible work. Yeah, yeah, amazing casting, such good casting. Conn is so mad, he's like, Oh, I'm gonna go to work, hungover. Now this bloke's gonna fucking be around all the girls. And they do this potato peeling job at a restaurant with a man that really is coming for this Loki. Uh back at the house. Uh, the girls on Loki joke, they're like, How are we gonna piss off con? They're like, Maybe we'll give you a nickname like I don't know, King Dick. And he goes, Yeah, well, I do have a king dick. So good. This is his whole personality, it's great. Then um, back at the restaurant, we get this performance from the restaurant owner. He's like, You are fucking dickheads, get leave my kitchen right now. Charlotte is going to hear about this. I was like, Okay, did you not love it?

SPEAKER_00 58:43

I did, and I love the fact that yeah, they just kind of gave up and started hiding the potatoes all around the restaurant.

SPEAKER_01 58:49

That was great. Like, we're making jacket potatoes. They sock back to the house and tell the others that they got fired, and Lexi pretends to be pissed off about it. Um then straight, I love it. It's just like whiplash, like that happens. It's like, all right, now they're going back out. Like, no rest for this lot to be 20-something again. I tell you what. Do you think, like, do you think there's days we're not seeing, or do you think they're actually going out every night of the week? I think they are, I think they are getting drunk every night that they're there, for sure.

SPEAKER_00 59:23

That's insane. Like, this show's gonna kill someone.

SPEAKER_01 59:27

Probably. They head out again. This it's their first time out with Lockie in the team. He's keen to get loose, and it's a daytime pool party at Gilligan's. Jada's tits are out straight away. She's like, tits are out! Hot boys, flirting with the boys, and we get Lily again. Oh, Jada, babe. I see you. I see your self-destructive behavior. She's just seeking attention through male validation, just like I did last year. Uh then Lockie in Speedos, correct, and Con have a tug of war off, which Cadia tells us is over her. So good. Uh Loki wins. He's a big unit, and um Con is of course like, oh, but I don't tug ropes. Ho ho ho ho. Come see what I can bench, bro.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:32

Uh, I know, like you say you know Loki, I know I know a million.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:37

I know a million cons too, don't you worry. Yeah, but yeah, that yeah, there's a cons or a duff a dozen, I'm sorry. Jim bro, the hair is important, like yeah, loves his mum. The clean freak, yeah. Not a pube on the boy, yeah. Lexi tells us that Katia is smitten with Loki, but she is, but also it's like, I don't know. That's not so bad. She's I get it, they like almost fucked or something on a night out in Melbourne, so she wants to like land the plane. We've all been there, yeah. And he does too. So let him do it, I say. Yeah, yeah. Lockie's got his big dick out again with all the girls in the shower, and Cardi's like, Can't get in. He's like, My hair, can't my hair. Then we get Lockie pashing people. Charlotte calls, and guess what? Feedback's in from the bosses, and it's not looking good. Oh no, oh no, what's gonna happen, you guys? Oh no, oh no, don't make me fly all the way from the UK over there, you lot. Jada uh gets Francesco's quote, thick and girthy dick uh thrust into her back in a hot little scene. This was a hot shot because like he's got big tradey thighs, so you could really like see him in his butt. Uh, but too good to be true, of course. Lily moves in and predictable Lily behavior yoinks him away from Jada, but Jada is good. She could have punched her in the face, but she takes a breath and takes us up. She's like, I'm just gonna leave, like away from the situation, and not even in like a attention seeky storm out way. She just takes us up away, clever. But Lily fucking follows her, and this is when we get the drunken patronizing lecture about seeking validation to her. Yeah, I couldn't.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:48

Yeah, infuriating, so annoying.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:51

And then she's like, I care about you, but these guys don't. These guys don't, I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:57

No need to care about her.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:58

Oh, exactly. She doesn't care about them. Oh my god. Lily um acts all sad again. She does this when she doesn't get away, she just like kind of cries and walks off. And I love the best line. Jada goes, I'm actually not can't. So into the distance. I love Jada. Uh anyway. But thankfully, Lily and Jada are able to give it another go. Um, and they are able to make it up. So, yeah, again, this is I think Jada is on some bigger person shit this season, and she like to be able to do that is pretty impressive. Yeah, yeah, proud of you, babe. But after this, Lily's like, look, this line was amazing. She goes, it gets to a point of the night where you just need to get fucked. I'm like, girl, I know, and then cut to full on penetration. So intense. So intense, just the thought and we can hear it and everything, and that's where the show ends. Love that. So the first two episodes end with Lily fucking someone that she said she wouldn't. Perfect. Chef skis, give it to me. Also, I love this show's weekly because we get something to do every week, check back in, and it's it's too good to blow our load all at once.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:24

Yeah, exactly. Bring back event television. But I think the only problem with this show is that it's on fucking Paramount Plus and no one has it. Yeah, true.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:36

Well, I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:37

If this was on Netflix, everyone would be talking about this.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:41

I agree, I agree. But yeah, maybe it's a chicken and egg situation, and some people will want to watch this. I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:49

I implore everyone at home that is listening to this that may have not listened, like not watched it yet, get Paramount Plus, support this show. We won a season three.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:00

Do it, and yeah, I'll be talking about it each week. So join us for that. And Paul, I will see you next week to talk about episode three. See you then. Bye bye.